Growth and Relationships

Throughout this amazing life you ether keep learning or you stop. Most individuals who get out of college tend to stop learning after college. This means many individuals don’t tend to learn much and rather watch television.

If you actually got up one hour earlier and read a book upon any subject your interested for whole year; that would add up.

Lets do quick math 7 x 60 minutes = 420 Minutes x 4 weeks = 1,680 Minutes x 52 Weeks = 87,630 Minutes

Just imagine how much more aware you would be compare to the average individual. If you study about communication or intercourse do you not think your relationship would be better, if off course you implement the information.

Of course it takes a little discipline, but the pay off is very great.

Winner or Quitter?

“Winners never quit and quitters never win.”

Vince Lombardi

I love this quote because it is very true in any aspect of life. If your in for long term success i suggest print this quote and see it everyday. Have you ever noticed when babies are just starting to take there first steps? It’s interesting how many times a baby will fall and continue trying. Talk about having a mentality to succeed no matter what!

At one point we fall short of a goal or a dream and as adult many quit. Why? I Am flabbergasted by how many individuals just quit instead of trying one more time. This comes to relationships also, many individuals are hurt emotionally and close themselves. I noticed personally many individuals do not like to take risk or just like feeling safe. In my own experience that would be  a very dull life.

Remembers do not quit on the first try to the second or the third. At the end of the day the feeling of striving for something greater will motivate you to keep going.

Pornography Affecting You?

Pornography is a damaging entertainment if misused in many different ways. The association of feeling desire with a monitor begins to train your mind to feel that way when watching porn. There will be a time where the act of having intercourse shall come and the desire won’t be there. The natural tendency for humans to have intercourse and have the intimate connection could be damaged by watching pornography.

According to University of Minnesota

“A meta-analysis of 46 published research studies on the effects of pornography on sexual perpetration, attitudes regarding intimate relationships, and attitudes regarding the rape myth found that exposure to pornographic material puts one at increased risk for committing sexual offenses, experiencing difficulties in one’s intimate relationships, and accepting rape myths (i.e. beliefs that trivialize rape or blame the victim for the crime). Specifically, there is a 22% increase in sexual perpetration; a 20% increase in negative intimate relationships; and a 31% increase in believing rape myths. A total sample size of 12,323 people comprised the present meta-analysis. The studies confirmed the link between increased risk for negative development when exposed to pornography.”

In laymen term individuals who watch porn tend to behave a little more aggressive than the average individual who does not. Lets not forget this is in general not always on individual cases, pornography could help couples also. The key is communication and understanding one another needs and wants. Forcing an individual into something is not necessarily something which is needed and could be more damaging than positive.

Also aggressiveness is not all together bad, it is off course bad if its forced upon. Some individuals enjoy being sadistic in sex; the difference is that both partners agree. At the end it comes down to communication and what is the persons intentions.

References

Overindulgence in pornography has long term affects, it seperates reality with fantasy.

1 Vanessa Vega and Neil M. Malamuth, “Predicting Sexual Aggression: The Role of Pornography in the Context of General and Specific Risk Factors,” Aggressive Behavior, Volume 33 (2007): pp. 104–117.

2 Elizabeth Oddone-Paolucci, Mark Genuis and Claudio Violato, The Changing Family and Child Development, (Aldershot: Ashgate, 2000), pp. 48-59.

3 M. Allen, D. D’Alessio, and K. Brezgel, “A Meta-Analysis Summarizing the Effects of Pornography II,” Human Communication Research, Vol. 22, Number 2 (December, 1995): pp. 258-283.

4 Neil Malamuth, T. Addison, and J. Koss, “Pornography and Sexual Aggression: Are there Reliable Effects and Can We Understand Them?” Annual Review of Sex Research, Vol. 11 (2000): pp. 26-94.

– https://www1.umn.edu/aurora/pdf/ResearchOnPornography.pdf

Rats and Human Sex?

Do animals or specifically rats have any way of feeling pleasure or desire?

According to the book “What Do Women Want?” It seems that rats look to prolong intercourse and receive pleasure from intercourse. “McClintock documented, too, that the female, if her cage allowed her to evade her partner, made sure to slip away from him, constantly, in the midst of his pumping, so the sex didn’t end too quickly for her. Under any circumstances, in rat as in monkeys sex, the animals attach, copulate, detach, and reattach repeatedly until the male ejaculates. The female rat, experiments showed, like to prolong the process, to make it last longer that the male otherwise would. All of this, the solicitations and the preference for more drawn – out intercourse, suggested will and desire”. ( PG 182-183 Daniel Bergner )

Apparently in monkeys and rats tend to prolong intercourse for pleasure, but also to increase the probability of offspring. If rats seek ways to receive and expand intercourse for the sheer desire of having pleasure, then would this be the same for women? I grew up with the norm that only males where the most sexually active, but could women be as active as a male? I believe that women desire for intercourse is as great as a male or even more. Male and females tend to look for pleasure and desire and passion from one another, off course the human connection also.

If female rat prolong intercourse, then why not prolong intercourse between individuals.

References – ( Daniel,Bergner. What Do Women Want? United States : HarperCollins Publishers Inc. June 2013)

Relationships and communication

One of the few very important things to learn early on is communication. If you sit down and think why would communication be important to you’r daily life? The answer is that you communicate with individuals on a daily basis, hopefully. Growing into adulthood people go to school and socialize on a daily basis for majority of children. This is time to tune in to social norms and understand other individuals. To have successful relationships you would need to understand other individuals and most importantly yourself.

In the modern age where we are the constant go we forget to fulfill are basic needs. This within it self is very damaging if you cohabit with a partner. According to American Psychological Association divorce rates have risen “Marriage and divorce are both common experiences. In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50. Healthy marriages are good for couples’ mental and physical health. They are also good for children; growing up in a happy home protects children from mental, physical, educational and social problems. However, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher.” Am concluding that many factors contribute to divorce rates , but within couples you need to communicate.

As humans we tend to be reactive to situations instead of being responsive to the situation. Reacting you just respond very quickly while being responsive you think before you speak. Imagine if you are arguing and instead of just sending the individual to hell you think about why they are angry in the first place. Two things happen there

1. you stepped out of the situation and are thinking why the individual is angry or upset

2. Instead of reacting and making the situation more serious and more damaging you are able to relax before responding.

Remember at times we think we are correct, but it does not hurt to see another person perspective.