The Power Of Desire

I have had recently some new experiences in which I got to feel new feelings and the trill of something that is considered taboo. I desired something new in my life so I decided to take the leap and see where it got me. Under certain other circumstances I wouldn’t do such things; but I live for risk and new experiences. About a few days ago I was flown out to Sacramento for a trip to meet a few businessman who have taken an interest in some of the things I do. All expenses paid for and stayed in a condo; this is where the stories starts.

Arriving around the time of eleven in the morning to Sacramento I was a little exhilarated for the possibilities of what could happen today. Sacramento is rather small for being the capital of California; was taken to the condo and it was beautiful. I new what luxury was when I stepped into the room; everything was brand and nothing less, the service was highest quality and was treated like family and someone important. At around 12:30 I was summoned yes thats how the hostess said to me; already in suit and tie I was ready to meet this powerful man. The meeting was held in the 17 floor with a round table with six individuals sitting around and I was the sixth.

Sitting with this men I could tell no bullshit was allowed and the confidence in this room was something I never felt before. I was rather a little intimidated but I new powerful people like powerful people so I had to be assertive if not this won’t happen. I can’t disclose what happen in the meeting but lets just say I met some new friends. Around 1:30 I walked out and started too walk towards the condo, was offered a ride but decided to explore. On the walk I seen an elderly women who I new was older than me but had features of an 25 year old.

The women name was Alissa black hair,120, 5’4, 32 C waist and curves that would make most younger women envy her. Her hair was well taken care of and she walked with confidence but with a sense of humbleness which caught my attention. I immediately went to talk to her which she was shocked and I asked her if she was in her early thirties and she blushed and said no am fifty. I was taken back I was like fifty? Alissa said yes, I said you look much younger what do you do to stay looking the way you do. Yes, I was flattering but at the same time I meant what I said. She laughed and smiled and said thank you and said I just wash my face do a lot exerciseing and just eat and enjoy life. I new if I wanted to expand this I would have to make the conversation more emotional so I amped up my emotions and I started to see the different tone she took. She was holding my eye contact which I seen as mature and confident within herself which aroused me more.

The conversation became more playful and we started walking and she new I wasn’t from here and asked where you stay at? I thought wow she knows what she wants or she just being polite? I told her the address and she said lets go with a playful smile and touched my elbow. I couldn’t help but smile and wonder if she new about touching and body language. We got to the condo and she asked if I was hungry and I said yes; I asked if she new how to cook, answered yes and teased me for asking. Time went by it was getting late; I found out a lot about her and It was getting around to Six and I went to the bedroom when I came back out the black dress that clung to her body was gone and she was wearing a black laced Victoria Secret braw and panties to match. Alissa smiled and asked if this is what I wanted, I was hypnotized by her beauty and just taking the risk. Decisive she is; this is what I love about older women who know what they want and go for it. I believe this come’s with time and knowing that what society dictates is a bunch of false knowledge.

The details are not necessary but she fell asleep afterwards and I was looking out towards Sacramento,  just contemplating life and wondering why certain things did not go out as planned. Wondering deeply if I could’ve done something differently if not to learn from my experiences and move along. I tend to contemplate things deeper and feel the depth of why some things hurt and other feel great. I attract good things into my life and great individuals to my life. Looking back at the beautiful women in my bed I couldn’t help but wonder if that could’ve of been someone else smiling back to me. Many possibilities and many things that life offers; sometimes we have to understand and just smile.


My Erotic Story

Once I am established as a sex Therapist I will expand my self to write erotica, thank to a good friend who edits my stuff this little story came to live. I appreciate the help she gives me and I hope you guys enjoy. Any improvements or comments are more than welcome so I could be a better writer.


I am proud of how healthy I am being a 37-year-old West Los Angeles Health professor. I am quite bored often doing the same mundane things everyday and each year. On February 11, 2012 was the start of a new school and meant new faces. A girl that appeared to be 19 had walked in through the room. She had straight black hair, wore square framed glasses, and had a timid walk. As she walked timidly, her firm thighs caught my attention. Could she have been an athlete? Perhaps she was a volleyball or soccer player? Her body was like wine with that round shaped ass and with a cleavage that spoke of many seasons of growth. For the first time in years I felt an intense desire that I do not even get towards my wife. A voice in my head warned me to keep the distance or else I would not resist.

As class begun, I told everyone to take their books out for Health 11. Before I began to lecture, I told everyone to say his or her name in front of the class. Her name was Jazmine and she said her name with such a low voice and I wondered if she lacked confidence? I was focused on this captivating girl too much. What has me so mesmerized, is it her timidness, youth, or physique? Jesus! It was only the first day and I could already imagine her bending over for me!
“Fuck!” I thought.
I had to behave. She stayed after class and asked for extra work. I asked myself, “Extra credit on the first day?!”
She was obviously an A student. I wondered how far would she go for that letter grade.
I thought, “God she is getting to me!”
I told her to relax and enjoy her first few days of school, it was too soon for extra credit. She gave me a half timid smile and walked away.

On Thursday, I was eager to see her walk through the door and she did not disappoint, she was wearing a short skirt with high socks and a strapless shirt. Do people call that matching now? Well I didn’t think too much of it because all I could think

about is her beauty.

My fantasies started carrying me away as a month passed. She would come in before class to talk to me and stay after class to complete her homework. She would spend extra time regularly that I even thought she must have liked me because she was flirting with me. Was I imagining this? God! I knew I had to be professional about the situation I cannot get involved with my student!

As the last two weeks of class were approaching on April 20, 2012 I had reacted. Today she came in with a short skirt again, but this time without high knee socks. She wore a revealing shirt that exposed her perfect cleavage. I was way over my head and lusted for her. This primal feeling of wanting to bend her over and shove my cock into her was driving me insane. I wondered how loud she could moan. She stayed again after class and I closed the door. She gave me a little timid smile and acted nervously when I looked at her. Jazmine was working on the health project I gave out two weeks ago. She fumbled her pencil and completely blushed. As soon as I tried to pick it up she ended in my arms. I could not resist myself any longer and ignore this gorgeous woman who was at her prime. Fuck! Her cleavage was just asking to be stroked and played with. I soon felt my hard on and by the looks of it Jazmine did too. She got up quickly and blushed even harder while looking at my boner. “I have to go,” she said.
I grabbed her hand and brought her closer to me while I told her not to. She did not hesitate and I could feel her massive chest while I kissed her and she passionately kissed me back with a low moan. We were currently on the top floor and it was around 8pm, no one would be able to hear us. This was my fantasy; this was all I wanted for the past two months. I wanted her and I could tell she wanted me as well. I kissed her and pushed her against the wall with force. She was ecstatic that I was not gentle with her. My wife couldn’t even make me feel this alive! Wow, she was biting her lips and moving her hips against my cock. I tore off her shirt, I didn’t care anymore I wanted her naked. Wow! They were the most beautiful breasts I have ever

seen; they were nice, round, and perky. They were far from being saggy and small. I rubbed and kissed them, I even bit the nipples and she responded with a loud moan. I immediately thought we were going to get caught, but I didn’t care I just wanted her. I grabbed her and I bent her over my desk. Who wouldn’t want to fuck their teacher? I pulled up her skirt and tore off her underwear. She was laying on the table looking at me with desire. Her eyes told me to fuck her like I never fucked anyone before. I didn’t hesitate to take off my clothes and she asked if I had a condom and I told her I didn’t, but I was not going to let this opportunity pass me by so I shoved my cock into her vagina and I swear I could have climaxed instantly! Her wetness was pouring down and her young pussy was tight; either she was a virgin or have not had sex in a while. Her moan echoed across the room and even down the hall. Fuck! How hot is this? I began to pound her softer to see if she could take in my full erect penis in her. She moaned and asked me to fuck her harder as I gladly did. My throbbing penis inside her vagina felt like heaven as she was breathing harder and harder. Lustfully, I picked her skirt up and spanked her right cheek hard and she jerked forward and let out a loud moan. I was going to be rough, I spanked her other cheek as she drove her nails in the table and gave out another moan. She cried out for more and I spanked her again. This girl was so kinky she desired a rough hand. I got out of her and went down on her on the table, her vagina was really pink and smelled aroused. The smell was beautiful, I licked her clitoris and she came almost instantly, it landed on my face and the taste turned me on so I turned her around, grabbed her, picked her up and put her against the window while I fucked her against it. I hope no one was outside looking at me fucking this young woman.


Why Women Get Attached Faster Than Man

One of the observations I have noticed is that women get attached faster than man and I hear women complaining often about this. I wondered why in general males tend to get attached much slower than women. One thing you will have to remember is that biology plays a big part in courting and mating.

There are two hormones we will have to pay attention to that have a great impact when having intercourse and afterwards. One of the chemicals is called Oxytocin “A hormone made in the brain that plays a role in childbirth and lactation by causing muscles to contract in the uterus (womb) and the mammary glands in the breast. Animal studies have shown that oxytocin also has a role in pair bonding, mate-guarding, and social memory.” When having intercourse and about to climax the brain “Oxytocin is a peptide (a compound consisting of 2 or more amino acids) that is secreted by the hypothalamus and transported to the posterior lobe of the pituitary gland at the base of the brain” Yes every brain in a human being is very advanced. Basically what they are saying is that oxytocin is release after intercourse which gives you the feeling of relax and comfort and this aura feeling.

The one other major hormone is testosterone which is largely known for sexual drive and making a man more aggressive. Every individual has testosterone but it varies upon males and females. There has been studies in mice in which males who have more testosterone get attached less and are less likely to be protective off their offspring. The reason is that testosterone counters oxytocin and estrogen. An example “Considering the parallel inhibitory effects of testosterone on both pup sensitization and number of OT neurons, we postulate that sex differences in parental responsiveness facilitated by repeated pup exposure were caused by an inhibitory effect of testosterone via the OT neural system in mice.” In other words the more testosterone a mice had the more likely they would not get attached.

Females have less testosterone in general so they get attached more easily for parenting reasons. If a male has little bit of testosterone and releases oxytocin he will more likely be monogamous and stay faithful. The less sexual drive he will have will show in his parenting manners and less in having intercourse with various partners.

definition of Oxytocin
Definition of Testosterone
Why Testosterone inhibits attachment
How Vasopressin and Oxytocin release in the brain after intercourse

Shame and Sexuality

One of the aspects I have notice regarding sexuality is that so many people are ashamed of there bodies or sexuality in general. I have grown to see this in women and in males particular with women, but why is that people are so ashamed of their sexuality, desires, or there bodies. I will not be referencing in this blog post; it was more of an idea that popped into my mind.

Culture tends to develop a person one way or another; different cultures around the world make people behave differently. This is one reason why a person traveling to another culture might not understand why a person behaves the way they behave. In some cultures and religion individuals are forced to marry before being sexually active with anyone and if you go against the rules you are dammed or deemed as a bad person. Many people look for love and caring from their family; and imagine being seen bad for enjoying your sexuality? Not to mention in some cultures a women clitoris is chopped of because the man are afraid of a women enjoying to much pleasure and she might cheat.

Sexual abuse is a sensitive topic because people are forced to give there bodies up for another person pleasure or for wealth. Many traumas are hardwired into are brain because the trauma is emotionalized so are brain will remember the event and might unconsciously be affecting are decisions. This entirely is unfair because sexual consent should be something that two or three or four individuals should agree on. When a person is forced to anything they desire not to do it could affect them in many psychological ways.

Social media portrays sexuality or an image that people should live up to. This could make people belief that if  a person does not live up to such image they feel they are worthless. I see this more with women when they are buying many products to look as beautiful as possible to please another individual. Or when women diet to such extremes to live up to an image which at times takes more dedication than most people could possibly give. This reflects when individuals are having intercourse and all of a sudden they become ashamed or respond negatively when touched or being naked a front of an individual.

A penis and a vagina is natural for humans to have, this is not something which we should be ashamed about. The human body is very attractive and appealing it is not something a person should be ashamed of showing if they so choose to. Sexual consent is something that should be practiced and not forced upon. Sexual education for anyone at any age is something that is certainly recommended to expand once knowledge, but also improve ones sexual life.

Sexual Appeal and How it differs from Person

Sexual appeal is different for each individual some are rather more active than other individuals. I will show you how imbalances in chemicals in brain could lead to a more decline in sexuality and how brain structure and habits will change  the brain structure and how you revive the sexual drive you once had. There will be a lot of research, but just read on and it will all make sense.

Sexual drive could be affected by according to (Webmed}”Any number of things, some physical and some psychological. Sometimes it’s both.Physical issues that can cause low libido include low testosterone, prescription medicines, too little or too much exercise, and alcohol and drug use. Psychological issues can include depression, stress, and problems in your relationship.About 4 out of 10 men over age 45 have low testosterone. While testosterone replacement therapy remains somewhat controversial, it’s also a common solution to the problem.” Not to mention the food you eat which plays a big part in your life in general. One of the things overlooked sometimes is brain damage cause by accidents, seizures, strokes, concussions, and minor injuries from sports which do occur.

Chemicals that I am aware of which are realesed when having intercourse are Dopamine, Norepinephrine,Oxytocin,Testosterone, and serotonin which are just a few and its pretty amazing how much work are brain does, its a pretty high tech computer. Each chemical does different things

  • Dopamine – Is a feel good chemical
  • Norepinephrine – Get’s the person excited
  • Testosterone – Makes an individual more aggressive and is a sexual hormone and man need testosterone more than women which helps with mood, thinking, sexual drive.
  • Serotonin – Calms the individual down
  • Oxytocin – Natural relaxer and lowers pain

I’ll provide a link for you could read a more clear understanding.

At one point in science it was thought of that ones you reach a certain age the brain stops learning and growing. Now we know that is not true which means anyone could recover from injuries.  According to (Stanford) “Because of this belief, scientists also thought that if a particular area of the adult brain was damaged, the nerve cells could not form new connections or regenerate, and the functions controlled by that area of the brain would be permanently lost. However, new research on animals and humans has overturned this mistaken old view: today we recognize that the brain continues to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. This phenomenon, called neuroplasticity, allows the neurons in the brain to compensate for injury and adjust their activity in response to new situations or changes in their environment.” Basically the brain continues to regenerate itself as you do new things.

Cognitive therapy is aimed at fixing certain thought process which a person has and is leading to unwanted behavior. Cognitive therapy definition is ” Cognitive therapy is a psychosocial therapy that assumes that faulty cognitive, or thought, patterns cause maladaptive behavior and emotional responses. The treatment focuses on changing thoughts in order to adjust psychological and personality problems.” Basically challenging the way you think about something could possibly result in a different behavior. One way or another you are telling yourself certain things through out the day. Why not change the way you think and do to get different results?

Sexual appeal differs from person to person because of many factors such as stated above. Some individuals believe they cannot change because there are the way they are; it is just a belief which your brain will change ones you do something different which comes from beliefs. Essentially what am saying is that you could be better at anything with a little effort and telling yourself new things. How do you think you got where you are at now; it literally just beliefs and thoughts. You could literally reconditioned yourself to be more sexual.

How you ask? For starters focus more on sexuality; this will lead you to think more about sex. Read more about intercourse and relationships and you will start to understand more. Have more intercourse this will recondition your brain and you will overall feel better from having intercourse. Change your diet and exercise a little more; meditate if you have a lot of stress. Change your habits and you change who you are as a person.

Cognitive Therapy – Purpose, Treatment techniques, Preparation, Typical results
Amagydla defintion
Five brain chemicals that are released during intercourse
Neuroplasticity Research
Reasons why you may have low libido;

Open Relationships

I was asked about open relationships and I hope this clarifies why I prefer open relationships over monogamy. After reading substantially about human beings and are nature it seems pretty clear that we where not meant to be just with a single partner. I will put every book I have read at the end, you could make your own informed decision.  I will talk about open relationships, polygamy, monogamy, and how I personally set up my relationships. I don’t feel like referencing today so I will just put out my knowledge as it flows.

I grew up in a traditional background believing in being with one person and that is what women wanted. Interesting in of the temptation to cheat was always there? This did not make sense; if we as human beings are meant to with one person then why even have the temptation?  Or are man just more willing to cheat and spread their seeds because of survival instinct. In this theory males instinctively want to spread their genes; male are still not faithful? Have you ever wondered why women are able to have multiple orgasms and keep going even after a male has ejaculated? Did you know that women who are getting near ovulating are 5x more likely to cheat, this is probably why males tend to be around their girlfriends or text more often because of instinctual way to protect. As we know being with one person its pretty difficult the longer you are with an individual. As society we place high expectations on relationships on marriage that when it does not live up to the hype it is a let down. This does not mean I do not date; I just do things differently.

Polygamy on the other hand is having multiple partners, but you could also just have one main partner. When researching on swinger happiness compare to the traditional monogamous relationship the swingers are in general more happy and have more interesting lives just in general. The couple has come to a consensus  to be with another partner with established rules if the couple is being a swinger. The open relationship model usually means that there always new partners to have intercourse with. The brain is always seeking for patterns; if you ever notice once you do something so often you see patterns and becomes predictable. When you have intercourse with a partner over and over even if you have variety eventually one way or another you know the outcome. No matter what you do the outcome is going to happen. That is the problem with usual sex advice; at a certain point it will be exciting then the high of dopamine will fade away as time passes. As you are aware if you ever dated in the beginning you are all excited then as time passes the bond form from the chemical vasopressin settles in. This forms the long-lasting bond for child-bearing and taking care of children. As relationships get to three years or so it now becomes a habit of being around the other individual and all those good feelings is what makes a relationship last, or the opposite will break the relationship.

The way I usually set up my relationships is with open communication and honesty. I found out that being dissipative and lying to women to a relationship or intercourse just does more damage. Speaking to someone I usually speak about intercourse because it’s a subject which I enjoy speaking about with women. I learn a lot this way and shows am comfortable with myself and sexuality. I tend to be very physical in the sense that a touch a women on her elbow, thighs, lower back, and hair I like to see how comfortable the women is with me. This also allows the hippocampus where emotion, memory, and autonomic nervous system to remember me. Essentially am getting the women use to my touches if she is aware of this or not. When it comes time to have intercourse she will be okay with my touches and presence. Above all else I like to enjoy myself because emotions are contagious and if her brain has more positive memories with me than negative she will be more incline to spend more time with me; as humans we seek more positive than negative emotions in general. After all said is done by now I would’ve had an open conversation of what I desire and I am looking for; this allows the women to know ahead of time if she forms a relationship with me it will be highly sexual but I will also be there for her and listen to her. How many times I see man not listen; if you pay to what people have to say you will be surprise how much information you could obtain.

In conclusion Monogamy leads to a low sexual drive. There actually studies on this. The routine tends to kill attraction, people stop taking care of themselves, the arguments, being in a relationship for just being in one, not being honest, no actual communication.

The positive is that you have someone there with you, good emotions and feelings being around someone you know. Long lasting partnership if you go thru the hardships; long-lasting bond. Do not get me wrong monogamy has upside and downsides it just comes to personal choice.

Open relationship leads to higher sexual drive if you are constantly having intercourse. Leads to more robust sexual experiences, variety and you need trust and open communication. The negative ones is that if a relationship is just sexual it probably will not last, you need other emotions to sustain a relationship. The other person will leave if there is no other thing involved than just intercourse. Also to really sustain a sexual relationship you need to give good sexual experiences.


1.What Do Women Want? Daneil Bergner – Love this book it delves into sexology, Sex therapy and other profession into what women really want well in theory, but has a lot of modren research.

2.The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy is a Necessary as love and Sex By David M.Buss – It’s really honest about sexuality and will change your perspective on sexuality.

3.Sex At Dawn “How we Mate, Why we Stray, and what it means for moderen relationships” by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha – Is brutally honest how we go into certain passion and how we are different and how sex drives us.

4.The Mating Mind By Geoffrey Miller – Looks into the mind being more of a way to attract potential mates than for intelligence.

5.Bonk By Mark Roach – It’s mainly talking about intercourse and women

6.Daniel Goleman Emotional Intelligence – Great for understanding emotions and success and people

7.The Secret Language of Feelings Calvin D. Bayan – Great for understanding people emotions and your own.

8. Urban Tantra By Barbara Carrellas – This book is great if you desire to learn Tantra

9.Fifty Shades Of Grey E.L James – Great book for ideas and seeing into a women mind

This are a few books which will keep you occupied for a little, enjoy and let me know what you think.


The difference between Orgasm and Ejaculation

There is a huge difference between having an orgasm and ejaculating. When having an orgasm this is what is happening “There is a combination of things that come in effect when it comes to an orgasm in the brain. Neurotransmitters, and neuro-peptides for example, are heavily involved in the sexual response. To reach an orgasm, the central nervous system sends orders to the heart, so that it pumps faster, sending blood to oxygenate the increase of blood flow in muscles involved in sexual activity. Nitric oxide, serotonin, dopamine, epinephrine, and norepinephrine, are just a few of the neurotransmitters and neuro-peptides involved in sexual activity. Nitric oxide (NO) plays a critical role in both male and female sexuality.” Which is pretty remarkable that all of this is happening in the brain to have orgasm. To have an orgasm is a feeling you get all over your body which is chemicals going off all together. There still much research to do to see how exactly each chemcial fuse together to make an orgasm happen.

To take a detour “In penile erections, NO stimulates the release of guanylate cyclase, which, in turn, converts GTP to cGMP and produces relaxation of smooth muscles and increased blood flow into the penis. This information is used in the popular drug sildenafil (ViagraTM) that inhibits the metabolism of cGMP to prolong the effects of the erection” which I did not know this was the chemical that helps prolong maintain an erection. If you closer into the above paragraph cGMP is meant to increase blood flow which also needs air flow to help keep an erect penis. If you have a hard time keeping an erect penis then exercise, eat vegetable and fruit, stop drinking soda, drink water, stop stressing and you will be able to maintain an erection.

Now ejaculation is the actual release of fluids.

Sexual stimulation and friction provide the impulses that are delivered to the spinal cord and into the brain. Ejaculation is a reflex action controlled by the central nervous system. It is triggered when the sexual act reaches a critical level of excitement. It has two phases.

  • In the first phase, the vas deferent (the tubes that store and transport sperm from the testes) contract to squeeze the sperm toward the base of the penis and the —-prostate gland and seminal vesicles release secretions to make semen. At this stage, the ejaculation is unstoppable.
  • In the second phase, muscles at the base of penis contract every 0.8 seconds and force the semen out of the penis in up to 5 spurts.

The difference is orgasm is a mental thing and ejaculation is an actual release of fluids. In other words you could have multiple orgasms without actually realsing and type of fluid. This goes for both male and femals and usually is more referred to women but as a male you could have multiple orgasms with practice and breathing techniques.



© Copyright 1995-2016 The Cleveland Clinic Foundation. All rights reserved.

1) Scientific American: News In Brief: Study Lays Bare the Physiology of Erection: March 19, 2002
2) Chan, John, Dellovade, Tammy L., Forrest, Douglas, Pfaff, Donald, W, The Two Thyroid Hormone receptor genes have opposite effects on estrogen-stimulated sex behaviors, Nature Neuroscience Vol 3 number 5 pp 472-475 2000.
3) Bartlik, Barbara, Gelenberg, Alan J., Legere, Regina, Villaluz, Jose, Sexual Dysfunction Secondary to Depressive Disorders The Journal of Gender-Specific Medicine, 2[2]:52-60 1999
4) Michele A. Kelly, Marcelo Rubinstein, Sylvia L. Asa, Ge Zhang , Carmen Saez , James R. Bunzow , Richard G. Allen, Robert Hnasko , Nira Ben-Jonathan , David K. Grandy , and Malcolm J. Low Pituitary Lactotroph Hyperplasia and Chronic Hyperprolactinemia in Dopamine D2 Receptor-Deficient Mice Neuron, Vol. 19, 103–113, July, 1997

Helping others

Today I choose to talk about something that was on my mind yesterday. Maybe I read to much or a pay attention to individuals who have reach places farther from me or maybe I am just compassionate. When I read books the one advice that I always see is help others, this includes business. It makes me wonder why helping other individuals is such a benefit to one personal well being. How would the world be different if we choose to help other individuals more often?

One of the things that I really enjoy is helping other people; not only does it feel good but it makes a difference in another person life. Seeing another person smile because you solved a person problem is worth more than money in my opinion. The good chemicals released in your brain such as dopamine shows that is for survival reasons to help others  we are social creatures. At times with are busy schedules we tend to forget to help other people, but what if we choose to help others more consistently?

This is a personal belief, but really taking the time to sit down and understand someone and yes actually listen could make the difference in a person life. How about a person about to sucicde but you decided to help out; you never know when a little smile could make a difference. One of the greatest feelings I believe is helping other individuals. Just knowing that as a person you have the power to change someones future is a great responsibility but also an empowerment to be there for people. Why not make it a challenge to help someone out today, even a smile could make a difference.

The Power Of Erotica

The power of reading has many benefits such as

  • Expanding knowledge
  • Creativity
  • Working out the Prefrontal-Cortex

This is a few depending off course what you read. In recent times I have become interested in erotica and the stigma behind it, but also the benefits you could get out of reading erotica.

I have mentors and one mentor told me that I should read erotica. I asked why would I read erotica and he said to understand women fantasies. He explained that majority of erotica and romance buyers are women and obviously there something going on there. I understood was that to really explore fully what women are capable of I need to understand her most desired yearning sexually and emotionally. He also told me reading expands your mind and knowledge, you will be able to communicate better with women due to reading about sexuality and romance. My understanding of psychology I know that depending on your habits the brain will develop new neurons to reinforce those habits so you become more better in which ever habit you are developing.

A few statistics that I found where according too “Industry statistics from the Business of Consumer Book Publishing 2013” “show that the romance genre as a whole generated $1.438 billion in sales in 2012 and estimated at $1.350 billion for 2013. Romance buyers are buying ebooks to a greater extent when compared with other major fiction subgenres and e-book sales of romance books have proportionally doubled in one year, from 22% in Q1 2011 to 44% in Q1 2012.” This stats would be bigger now due to the fact that society is becoming more accepting of women sexuality.

The benefits I derived of reading erotica is that it did expand my imagination and knowledge of what women desire sexually and also some qualities in men. Erotica expanded my mind in the sense of ideas of how far you could really take a women not to mention of ideas to explore sexually. I became more able to converse with women about sexuality and became more attune to women needs and desires. The benefits of reading in general are astounding; it just shames how much knowledge is out there and people do not read.

One other aspect if your losing intrest in intercourse if you read about sexuality a bit more it will make you focus more on intercourse. This leads to a more positive cycle if you desire to have more intercourse in you’re life with a person or just new individuals. It also helps with couple who have run out of ideas of what to try and this leads to people being more expansive with relationships and intercourse. Like what I once heard whatever you focus on grows one way another.

The Mating Mind, How we choose are Mates

I am currently reading a book called The Mating Mind by Geoffrey Miller and a psychologist he has an interesting perspective why we developed the minds we have today. In evolutionary perspective it is stated that we gain are intelligence due to the fact that we developed are brains as an evolutionary process, but also thru genetics. Geoffrey Miller is saying that we have developed are minds as has the peacock its tail for attracting potential mates. This perspective essentially is stating that are creativity, leadership, power, status, music, dancing was made for attracting mates.

One of the problems with evolution is that are closest primates did not develop the way we did. ” From a pragmatic biological viewpoint, art and music seem like pointless wastes of energy. Human morality and humor seem irrelevant to the business of finding food and avoiding predators. Moreover, if human intelligence and creativity were so useful, it is puzzling that other apes did not evolve them.” (PG 18) It makes me wonder if are intelligence did in fact develop due to attracting mates. Another examples “on the south side. The Ramble is a 37-acre woodland hosting 250 species of birds. Every spring, they sing to attract sexual partners. Their intricate songs evolved for courtship. Could some of our puzzling human abilities have evolved for the same function?” (Pg 19) there is not a complete answer, but it an interesting theory.

A great example is the peacock tail “The peacock’s tail is the classic example of sexual selection through mate choice. It evolved because peahens preferred larger, more colorful tails. Peacocks would survive better with shorter, lighter, drabber tails. But the sexual choices of peahens have made peacocks evolve big, bright plumage that takes energy to grow and time to preen, and makes it harder to escape from predators such as tigers.” (Pg 19) This idea within itself does not make sense if it comes to survival but it does make sense for attracting another partner. If are brain for animals and humans was for survival and mating then its fits perfect.

The theory that Geoffrey Miller proposes would make sense why we developed certain qualities that other apes did not. The problem that I see with this theory is that as humans if we developed this traits too attract then certain qualities such as empathy for certain individuals if it was survival base would not exist. As humans we developed empathy for mating with individuals who for survival purposes is not logical. Certain people who cause more harm to us than well-being goes against just survival purposes; human beings are complex individuals. Maybe all this theory are all correct in their own way or we are just to complex to understand?

Refrences Miller, Geoffrey. The Mating Mind. New York: Anchor Books, 2001.