I was hearing a podcast and this conversation came up, it was a group of feminist talking about how they are asked about rape fantasies and if it’s wrong to have them if their feminist. This is a topic which I don’t agree with; always have consent but the topic is researched and from personal experience I believe women sexuality is really misunderstood. Women sexuality is really constrained and what exactly do women desire, off course every women is different but nonetheless it makes for an interesting conversation. Only read this if you are mature and trying to maybe understand why you have certain interest in certain taboo things.
Before going into this topic the definition of feminism is “the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men” so if you feel like this is against feminism is entirely wrong. To have certain fetishes or kinks or fantasies doesn’t go against the fact that women want to be equal to men. Remember everyone has different forms of reaching orgasms and sexuality is different for everyone.
We will start with a few stories of women and rape fantasies. “I am a young virgin peasant girl whose family is one of many that works the land of a rich landowner; the landowner or his son forces himself on me, and I know I have no choice but to let him do what he wants. Or I am the school whore or a social misfit, and the football team is taking turns with me. I am still coming to terms with the fact that things that I find to be wrong—rape; taking advantage of those without power—are the things that bring me to mind-blowing orgasms.”
“The rape scene from The Accused, I’m ashamed to say.”
“A married, older man that I work with, who I’m not even all that attracted to, fucking me from behind against a whiteboard—we work at a school—and hitting my face against it. Then he turns me around so that I can fellate him. Him coming on my face.”
Women have confessed and I’ve researched into this things of why women desire things that are considered “wrong”. Individuals who are unfaithful who are into BDSM which stands for Bondage, dominance, Submission/Sadism, and Masochism. I ask myself why are people into forms of punishment or being dominated by another person. The answers I’ve gotten from rape fantasies is the act of letting go being taken over, having no control of the outcome. Does this come from genetics that in pre historic times man forced them selfs upon women? Or could this be more of an innate animalistic instinct?
People fantasize things, but it does not mean that they would actually like to be raped. One is theory in the mind and it actually happening could have fatal consequences. It makes me wonder if this is more of a society condition of constrains or individuals trying to release themselves from everyday stresses. The research does not conclude and still requires much more research to be done. One thing is for certain is that individuals desire something different not just the lovely things portrait in cinema.
Personal experience and speaking to women has shown me that most women are fearful to really explore intercourse. They afraid that they will be judged or will deem as bad women, and spat on. I notice that even thought women do desire to have the tenderness they also desire the thrill the adventure with a hint of danger. A few past lovers confessed that they where afraid to explore certain things with their previous lover because they might not be liked or seen slutty. Remember everyone has their own way of expressing sexuality, don’t hate yourself or look down upon yourself because most likely than not someone else has the same desire. Just be aware that if you are trying to hurt someone then seek help; always go for consent.
Bergen, Daniel( 2013) What Do Women Want? HarperCollins Publishers ( Australia) Pty. Ltd.