I always regarded jealousy as an emotion that it’s a faint feeling which should just be regarded with little interest. Jealousy off course comes in different strength depending on the individual you speak to. Some individuals get very jealous while other’s people pay little to no attention to it. Reading a book titled ” The Dangerous Passion Why Jealousy Is as Necessary as Love and Sex” By David M. Buss, Ph.D has given me a new perspective on why jealousy might actually be biological and it’s a natural feeling to have.
Many individuals feel jealousy as an insecurity or a feeling they get when they see someone they beloved flirting or doing something intimate with someone else. Apparently jealousy could be a feeling we feel because are intimate partners might be doing something with someone else, like a hidden signal. According David M. Buss, Ph.D ” A young couple, Joan and Richard, came to her with a complaint of irrational jealousy. Without provocation, Richard would burst into jealous tirades and accuse Joan of sleeping with another man. His uncontrollable jealousy was destroying their marriage. Richard and Joan both agreed on this point. Could the therapist help cure Richard of irrational jealousy? A common practice in couple therapy is to have at least one session with another member of the couple individually. The first question the therapist posed to Joan during this individual interview was: are you having an affair? She burst into tears and confessed that, indeed, she had been carrying on an affair for the past six months.” Interestingly the man somehow new subconsciously that his wife was indeed having an affair with his wife.
I was curious when a women would most likely have an affair and ” The numbers rose dramatically across the ovarian cycle, peaking precisely at the point of maximum fertility, and then declining rapidly during the luteal phase after ovulation. Women, of course, can experience sexual desire at any phase of their cycle. Nonetheless, they are five times more likely to experience sexual desire when they are ovulating than when they are not.” When a man is partnered to a women they actually tend to text more often around this period of time; like inherently know the possibilities.
Also another reason jealousy acquires is when a man believes he cannot satisfy the women he is with. One of the reason marriages at times don’t work is because of intercourse satisfaction. This sounds intently of insecurity but true ” A man’s inability to satisfy his partner sexually, real or imagined, appears to be a powerful trigger of sex-ual jealousy. The therapist of one couple entering treatment for the husband’s pathological jealousy noted that the wife talked about her former lovers “all of the time and speaks disdainfully about the sexual performance of her husband.”Sexual dissatisfaction is linked with marital unhappiness, which is a good predictor of divorce. In my study of 107 married couples, we found that some women and men ex-pressed a variety of complaints about their partner’s sexual behavior. Some complained that their partner refused to have sex with them, declared a lack of interest in having sexual relations”. The theory is that when a partner is losing interest with the other partner it is saying they will seek better genes or more quality partner somewhere else. This is off course aiming at the pure biological aspect of are nature; that we are here to pass are genes to the best mate possible.
There is a tone of information in the book regarding jealousy linking it to much information about are biological animal side. It seems like jealousy might actually be a signal for us to be aware that an intimate partner might be unfaithful. Then again it could also just be deep rooted insecurities in the person. At the end of the day insecurities do tend to break up relationships and just going by instinct might not be the always sure way to go about something.