Till I Collapse

The song Till I Collapse by Eminem I really enjoy hearing, this will be a very personal post so no references. For the last three years I have been striving to be successful and have done MLM, Email Marketing, Trading, Life Insurance, and e-commerce. Honestly I have grown a lot but also have suffered because not everything was for me and I was doing it without passion. I have also made people closely to me stress and suffer for my irresponsibility for doing things my way, but it does have a good ending.

At the age of seven or eight I started playing street football with high school students. I learn getting tackled into a metal pole hurts and that quitting wasn’t an option. Growing up and playing sports I learn that quitting isn’t an option. I never had a father figure, but I did have my older sister and my younger sister. My older sister has a strong personality and taught me discipline and hard love with tender love in her own way. Honestly speaking if it wasn’t for my older sister I ain’t sure who I would be today. I owe a lot to my sister thru everything I put her thru she deserves the best and I am making sure that she and her family will be taken care of. I believe with the guidance from my older sister she taught me not to quit and have determination in following thru with what I say even if I do things she doesn’t agree with.

Sincerely speaking reading many books and staying focus on my goals I have been irresponsible in certain aspects of my life. Having people around me telling me to just go back to work actually effected me  till it got to the point I out grew it. I understood what depression and heartache and feeling hopeless felt like when knowing things are not working out. This is the times that I got to see a new side of me; feeling like quitting was something new to me. Honestly speaking I felt like quitting multiple times but something within me never let me. You have to understand that after three years and not having anything to show took a mental toll and emotionally draining. Even after being depressed and not knowing what to do I would complain for like thirty minutes and then I would start strategizing in how to make solutions.

I started having seizures so I figured I could die in my sleep, I put more pressure to make certain I produce tangible results. Instead of scaring me it actually motivated me to move much more faster and stay up later working. In a sense I didn’t fear dying because there wasn’t any point. This worried people around me and my family especially my mom, I believe she has endured the most. I don’t understand a mother’s love, but she has supported me after everything. I can’t stand seeing my mother suffer so knowing that I am finally becoming successful will make her happy. I believe the greatest gift I could give my mom is for me to be more healthy and me being financially free.

This is a Sex and Relationship blog; so yes there is a special women who is heping me out. It has been an emotional rollercoaster and it has been tough in it’s own way. At the same time it has been emotionally rewarding and I have gotten a lot of happiness and motivation from the relationship. It has been challenging and I have had my boundries rather pushed and extended, but I believe in growing and expanding in a relationship. We are growing stronger and with many challenges we are still here and going forward. I will be the best I can be, but I do expect the same because I don’t believe neither of us deserve anything less.

At the end I am becoming successful and moving pretty rapidly. I have learned a lot and have read many books and have become a better person I believe. The song Till I Collapse essentially states that he won’t quit till his last breath and till he collapses essentially. I have the same mentality I will keep fighting and moving forward regardless the obstacle because no one is going to stop me from getting what I desire. If seizures can’t kill me, depression can’t paralyze me, I have nothing to fear and am telling you not to quit on your dreams. It took me three years to start becoming successful; you could do it faster. Never quit, Never quit. To me I will take care of my family and return the favors of everyone that has helped me because I wouldn’t be here without all the people who have helped me in one way or another.

Thank You, Everything Was Worth It.





Understanding Sexuality

This is a personal post so no references on this one, lately I believe that my sexuality was rather pushed. I have noticed every time I have a new partner I have to in a sense adapt and understand an individual that is different from my other partners. This means understanding them at a mentally, emotionally, and physically and this takes time and a lot of listening. I will try to break down sexuality in four paragraphs from personal experience and knowledge.

Mentally I understand everyone is different and have their own perspective on how they see their own world. This also means that everyone will see sexuality different and have different ideas on how they get arouse and have orgasms. This is where having open communication is really essential; you have to understand that one position might work for someone but for another person it won’t. When being monogamous you learn on how to help your partner reach bliss; on the other hand when having multiple partners you start to understand that variety in knowledge is necessary. In monogamy it is also essential in having variety, but the main point is that sexuality is so diverse that is so fundamental to having an open mind and willing to grow in any type of relationship.

Emotionally and past trauma could have an effect and guide a person life and sexuality. The subconscious mind doesn’t forget anything; especially emotionally charged memories. If a person had a bad experience sexually or in any other way it will be memorized in the amygdala and hippocampus. When a person is in the same situation a person will feel the same negative feelings associated with the previous expeirence. I have seen and been with women who for one reason or another have had a bad experience and can’t get passed the negative feelings and they cant enjoy their sexuality to the fullest. At moments such as this listening and understanding could help a person move forward with trust and love.

In general people physique are vastly different but at the same time the same. Before having intercourse seeing a person size and weight and understanding a person pain tolerance should be considered. Some individuals love deeper penetration while other individuals prefer vanilla intercourse much more. There are off course individuals that enjoy being disciplined to the point of having bruises or not being able to continue. This off course should come as consensual and open communication is recommended. depending on the individual certain physical parts will be more arousing than others; and this tends to vary from person to person.

Sexuality is so diverse and complex that there really isn’t a one way fits all, I believe this is where sex ed doesn’t really do a good job at. Everyone is different and just because one thing worked on someone; doesn’t mean it will work on another individual. I believe sexuality is diverse and openly talking about it with a partner is crucial to both partners growth. This also helps with having more pleasure and having a deeper respect and understanding of one another. If you tend to enjoy multiple partners I recommend having an open mind, good listening skills, and understanding that everyone sexuality is vastly different.

Women Dominant and Males Submissive?

As times go by it seems that many individuals have problems with the opposite sex and equal rights movements happening more often now. Women in general don’t make as much as her counterpart even if they hold the same position in a corporation. It has made me wonder if this is social conditioning or are we actually hard-wired to be this way? There are species in which women are the dominant one within the species and males are there just to court and reproduce. Is it possible that everything we do is just to attract more partners? I don’t have every evidence possible, but it is something I have contemplated whether it is social conditioning or nature.

We will start with other ape and primate species in where one is dominated by female and the other by male. “There, In Asian mountains or lowlands forests, adult males lurked at the edges of female-run domains. The females invited them in to serve sexually. The males remained–desirable, dispensable –until the female lost interest in them. Then they were dismissed, replaced. In his compound, Wallen removed the breeders and introduced new males about every three years, the time it took for them to become irrelevant, for their claims to wane, for the frequency pf their copulation almost always female-initiated– to fade. In the wild they seemed to stay attractive only slightly longer.” ” Rhesus females are very xenophobia when it comes to other females,” Wallen said. “Introduce a new female into the compound and she’ll be hounded until she dies. But when it comes to males, females have a bias toward novelty.” Essentially in Rhesus society the women dominate the species and when courting happens and when it does not. The males are actually the passive ones and not the aggressors, but rather the females are.

The Bonobo

Bonobos are female dominant, with females forming tight bonds against males through same-sex socio-sexual contact that is thought to limit aggression. In the wild, they have not been seen to cooperatively hunt, use tools, or exhibit lethal aggression.

The Chimpanzee

Chimpanzees are male dominant, with intense aggression between different groups that can be lethal. Chimpanzees use tools, cooperatively hunt monkeys, and will even eat the infants of other chimpanzee groups.

Bonobos and Chimpanzees share close to 99% of their genome in common with humans, meaning that their genomes are more similar to that of humans than they are to that of gorillas. However, it may be that Bonobos, whose psychology is virtually unstudied relative to that of chimpanzees, are more similar to humans than are chimpanzees in how they solve various social problems (e.g. Hare, Melis, Woods, Hastings, & Wrangham, 2007). Such similarities may even be partly the result of shared and heritable neurophysiology that potentially regulates the social emotions of humans and Bonobos in similar ways (Hammock & Young, 2005). This is species that are really related to us as humans, so it makes me wonder if it is actually ingrained instinct and not just conditioning within the species. Within this species there are hierachies and active communication within the species; but it makes me wonder if this is how it was since each species started.

I read a book that are mind and what we do in our life could just be a way to attract partners. The peacock features it’s big and wonderful tail, but doesn’t neccesarily have any survival pruposes. The argument was that are big proportinal brain doesn’t neccesarily help for survival; rather it takes much energy for any purpose for survival. I wrote about this in another article just click here.

As times has passed and many of human socieities have perished; from what I understand many if not all socieities have been patriarchy dominated. So it makes me wonder if we are like the Chimpanzees in that sense; or is it that thru conditioning for hundreds of years it has been embeded in are subconscious mind and just became a social norm. I understand there are women right movements such as “The first gathering devoted to women’s rights in the United States was held July 19–20, 1848, in Seneca Falls, New York. The principal organizers of the Seneca Falls Convention were Elizabeth Cady Stanton, a mother of four from upstate New York, and the Quaker abolitionist Lucretia Mott.1 About 100 people attended the convention; two-thirds were women. Stanton drafted a “Declaration of Sentiments, Grievances, and Resolutions,” that echoed the preamble of the Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men and women are created equal.” Among the 13 resolutions set forth in Stanton’s “Declaration” was the goal of achieving the “sacred right of franchise.”

I am putting this in the context of sexuality and courting; from experience I have noticed that when a women wants to attract a male she becomes submissive and the male becomes the dominant one. This doesn’t neccesarily mean women are passive and just sexual objects; ir’s just observations and seeing that social norms also makes this behaviors appropiate. It could be the opposite way if we change are conditioning; it would be different. One thing is for certain I belief women and males balance one another out and work better together; in cultures such as buddihism they call this male and female enegies. Or you could also see it as Ying and Yang; if you put both sides together it becomes whole so I belief that without one another things wouldn’t be the same.


Chimps and Bonobos 

Women Rights 

What Do Women Want?

The Mating mind ArticleThe Mating mind Article


Emotions Necessary?

I was wondering if emotions are necessary in life and emotions do help in life in general. Where first emotions come from the Amygdala, but there is evidence that the brain works together to make things happen. The amygdala is an almond-shaped section of nervous tissue located in the temporal (side) lobe of the brain. There are two amygdala per person normally, with one amygdala on each side of the brain. They are thought to be a part of the limbic system within the brain, which is responsible for emotions, survival instincts, and memory. However, this inclusion has been debated heavily, with evidence that the amygdala function independently of the limbic system.

The amygdala is responsible for the perception of emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness, as well as the controlling of aggression. The amygdala helps to store memories of events and emotions so that an individual may be able to recognize similar events in the future. For example, if you have ever suffered a dog bite, then the amygdala may help in processing that event and, therefore, increase your fear or alertness around dogs. The size of the amygdala is positively correlated with increased aggression and physical behavior.

If you think about emotions if you see them in a positive light could be helpful, as humans if we where just logical life could be seen as dull. Emotions help us understand other people emotions and most of all sexual desire for are intimate partners. Emotions are used to succeed because who would like to work so many hours without the emotional compensation. At the same times emotions help us to survive knowing what feels dangerous and what does not. At the same time understanding that emotions at time could be rather disturbing or overwhelming.

When it comes to being sad or having an emotional hijack emotions could be very powerful. The results could be rather negative saying things you probably shouldn’t have said or hurting someone. At times emotions could cloud judgement; there has been many powerful males who have fallen do to emotions. Knowing that having an affair was probably not the wisest thing to do, but sexual desire is a very strong feeling.

Overall emotions are a good thing and it tells us many things about how we perceive the world thru are values and beliefs. You change the way you think about it and your emotions will reflect that. Are thought have an immediate effect on our bodies and our body language shows that.


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