This is a personal post so no references on this one, lately I believe that my sexuality was rather pushed. I have noticed every time I have a new partner I have to in a sense adapt and understand an individual that is different from my other partners. This means understanding them at a mentally, emotionally, and physically and this takes time and a lot of listening. I will try to break down sexuality in four paragraphs from personal experience and knowledge.
Mentally I understand everyone is different and have their own perspective on how they see their own world. This also means that everyone will see sexuality different and have different ideas on how they get arouse and have orgasms. This is where having open communication is really essential; you have to understand that one position might work for someone but for another person it won’t. When being monogamous you learn on how to help your partner reach bliss; on the other hand when having multiple partners you start to understand that variety in knowledge is necessary. In monogamy it is also essential in having variety, but the main point is that sexuality is so diverse that is so fundamental to having an open mind and willing to grow in any type of relationship.
Emotionally and past trauma could have an effect and guide a person life and sexuality. The subconscious mind doesn’t forget anything; especially emotionally charged memories. If a person had a bad experience sexually or in any other way it will be memorized in the amygdala and hippocampus. When a person is in the same situation a person will feel the same negative feelings associated with the previous expeirence. I have seen and been with women who for one reason or another have had a bad experience and can’t get passed the negative feelings and they cant enjoy their sexuality to the fullest. At moments such as this listening and understanding could help a person move forward with trust and love.
In general people physique are vastly different but at the same time the same. Before having intercourse seeing a person size and weight and understanding a person pain tolerance should be considered. Some individuals love deeper penetration while other individuals prefer vanilla intercourse much more. There are off course individuals that enjoy being disciplined to the point of having bruises or not being able to continue. This off course should come as consensual and open communication is recommended. depending on the individual certain physical parts will be more arousing than others; and this tends to vary from person to person.
Sexuality is so diverse and complex that there really isn’t a one way fits all, I believe this is where sex ed doesn’t really do a good job at. Everyone is different and just because one thing worked on someone; doesn’t mean it will work on another individual. I believe sexuality is diverse and openly talking about it with a partner is crucial to both partners growth. This also helps with having more pleasure and having a deeper respect and understanding of one another. If you tend to enjoy multiple partners I recommend having an open mind, good listening skills, and understanding that everyone sexuality is vastly different.