Desire Pill

Have you ever felt desire dwindling or felt you lack sexual drive? I was looking into how to make desire last in a long-term relationship. If the waning of lust or yearning could be brought back. I remember the pharmaceutical companies are creating pills in which would spike women desire back up, essentially the same as what Viagra does to men.

Apparently America is a big market for such pills ” medications, molecules aimed by pharmaceutical giants at the same despair, the feeling of desire’s vanishing, aimed at the same market, worth over four billion dollars a year in America alone”. As well it made me wonder why hasn’t a pill been made yet. It’s also interesting how birth control pills effect some women than others differently ” women whose antidepressants suffocate their desire. He would have a way to understand one of the conundrums of his field: why birth control pills snuffed out sexuality in some– but far from all–women”. It seems like women desire is rather more complex than males.

I wondered if a women desire seems to wain from more of a psychological perspective and why has no pill been approved by the FDA. The mind tends to control the body and sometimes vice versa, as well political has to do with the pills not being approved. ” Another reason was bound up with a David-and-Goliath battle that some therapist saw themselves fighting heroically against the drug industry–against its rush to find, win FDA approval for, and market what is loosely known as a female Viagra. Since the late nineties, when pharmaceutical companies has begun making billions by assisting erections with a chemical that affected the capillaries of the penis, the corporations had been seeking an equivalent for women. But this hadn’t been going smoothly, because women’s sexual problems usually aren’t genital; they’re entrenched in psycholigcal.” If this is true wouldn’t it be as easy as thinking differently? Or is it much deeper than just the thought process and something more biological?

The more political side of it would be society would change dramatically. The resonated with what Goldstein recounted from his involvement with Flibanserin. In Flibanserin’s trials, he hadn’t taken his usual outsider’s role, interviewing women, dispensing medication. He’d been hired as an advisor by the corporation that owned the molecule; he’d been in on strategy sessions. “When you’re going to the FDA with this kind of drug, there’s the sense that you want your effects to be good but not to good.” he said. Too good hadn’t turned out to be Flibanserin’s problem, but, he explained. “There was a lot of discussion about it by the experts in the room, the need to show that you’re not turning women into nymphomaniacs. There’s a bias, a bias against– a fear of creating the sexuality aggressive women. here’s this idea of societal breakdown.” This off course would be very negative to how society been structured for the last millenium or so. As far as we know off course.

As far I am aware the companies have not been able to find a drug that brings desire or lust back within a relationship. There are a few theories of why, I think there is other remedies but it is things I would have to test out first.

refrences

( Daniel,Bergner. What Do Women Want? United States : HarperCollins Publishers Inc. June 2013)

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Fatal Mistakes

Three years ago I met this women called Daisy at subway on Vermont and Sunset. At that point it was my destination every other day to go work there. Oddly she came back into my life now but I didn’t see her the same as before. When I first seen her eating a tuna sandwich she seemed rather sad and in agony. I spoke to her if I could join and smiled to cheer her day up. I felt her sadness and I couldn’t help but wonder why would she be sad. Her blond hair fell to her shoulder width and pink small lips formed a sad smile, her blue eyes showing sadness even tears forming. I spoke to her softly to ease her tension, and told her that this is a new beginning for her. She smiled and laughed. Her eyes glowed with happiness which I thought was good because life is pleasant. As we spoke she started to tell me what is going on.

Daisy was twenty-four at the time and had broken up with her abusive boyfriend who she was for Twelve years. Yes I was surprised she was with him since middle school, at the time we spoke. They had broken up two months prior and I could tell the effects were still strong at that point. She was studying art and drew very well which captivated my interest. She was failing miserably in school because her life was more dedicated to her e.x at that point. I started to guide her to be more focus on herself and finish school because she has so much talent; I didn’t want to see that go to waste. Her ambitious were grand and I pushed her to see the confidence I seen in her.

Two months after meeting her I started an open relationship with her, being very brittle she started to smile more and became very caring. Being really attractive she started to turn heads and radiated this exuberance of happiness. At that point being only with one partner her whole life she was ready to bloom; ripe for spring so too speak. As her sexuality expanded she became more feminine and her body language/self-confidence just grew. Five months later her e.x contacted her and I became aware because I believe in honesty is mutual. I notice her internal turmoil and consolidated her, but always let her do as she desires. I warned her what would happen if she went back with him; I knew she desired a relationship. Eventually she started with him again and I let her be.

Three years into the future she is twenty-seven and I am twenty-two. We met up as she contacted me. I was intrigued what happen to her after such a long time; apparently he became abusive again she left school and I was astounded but felt empathy towards her. He cheated on her and left her when I think she is really attractive and has such a great personality if you see inside her walls. I was infuriated but then again its a choice she made. At the end I kept her as a friend because I respect her and had a good connection with her. I doubt I’ll ever seek out more, at times is good to give out an open hand to help someone in need. At times it’s financial other times is emotional and that is something that money can’t buy.

I wrote this with her permission; I don’t write about individuals without their consent.

Three Women Speak

As I sat hearing the song Motivation by Kelly Rowland in Tierra Mia which is a coffee shop, drinking a horchata frappe sitting down I couldn’t help but overhear three young women speaking about intercourse. Sitting in a table near the door they where directly five feet away from me at their own table. It was rather empty being 12pm in the morning, but one of the women was speaking proudly about an experience that caught my attention.

I observe two of the women had black hair and are rather thin, I assumed around 115, no split ends which I figured they must take care of themselves and as well physique. Light brown tone to their complexion, the more excited one has brunette hair; 5’8 and seem toned; I figured from some type of sport. As I approached them I directed my attention to her specifically; I overheard your enthusiastic voice about a recent experience and I believe people would be interested in your story. What do you mean? I blog. About? Sex and relationships; I study this. They all laughed, and they all agreed why not. This off course is the short version off the conversation.

The brunette was Brenda which introduced me to Stephanie and Janet, apparently all college students. Tell me what happen, I have had only one partner in my life till I met this guy his name is Joseph. We met about six months ago and I couldn’t be helped but he tried to flirt with me and is rather daring. I felt this excitement and a little uncomfortable of the fact that he is twenty – eight and I am twenty. This didn’t stop him and last night I gave into him, which shocked me because it took my E.X three year till we had sex. I think he is a bad boy even thought he is older; I think all he wants is sex which is okay with me. They all laughed and giggle; how was the sex?

It was nothing like I ever felt; Like I felt bad and naughty and desired. Like he did a lot to get me; I wore a thong and special lingerie for him. He was extremely rough with me and I enjoyed myself like never before. I had one orgasm but that orgasm was so deep and so exhilarating that it shook my body and left me breathless. He said it was a form of tantra, breathing techniques? ( I figured she had a full body orgasm, I have seen women eyes roll back, full body twitching and not being able to walk from this. Could be really strong when you mix tantra with intercourse). Stephanie saying I haven’t even had an orgasm you lucky b****. Janet apparently hasn’t had intercourse, everyone at their own time.

Brenda was talking to me about how deep can an orgasm go? There this thing in Tantra in which it’s called becoming with one or an all blissful orgasm that shoots out of your head and you feel at peace. People say it’s possible but it requires knowing your breathing techniques, hmm maybe Joseph could help me with that. Yes, he sounds experience and I am thinking you will be enjoying yourself with him. Yes I am!

 

Come As You Are

I am usually curious about how women inhibit their sexuality or I usually try to understand why a women wouldn’t be comfortable in her own body. Everyone has a different answer; let’s look into a book I have found intriguing.

While being raised to some extent I figured women are more sexual than presumed. It made me wonder why then tell women that they are “slutty” or “whore” when they are just expressing themselves? “We’re raising women to be sexually dysfunctional, with all the ‘no’ messages we’re giving them about diseases and shame and fear. And then as soon as they’re eighteen they’re supposed to be sexual rock stars, multiorgasmic and totally uninhibited. It doesn’t make any sense. None of the things we do in our society prepares women for that.” It would make more sense if women are raised to enjoy themselves so they could have more healthy relationships with themselves and with others. You could put a male in the same situation and he would be praised for exploring and enjoying himself.

I found this passage rather interesting “I am done living in a world where women are lied to about their bodies; where women are objects of sexual desire but not subjects of sexual pleasure; where sex is used as a weapon against women; and where women believe their bodies are broken, simply because those bodies are not male. And I am done living in a world where women are trained from birth to treat their bodies as the enemy.” As more information comes out daily it would make sense to bring one another up not down. Yes not everyone is the same, but nonetheless it doesn’t make sense to put someone down. If sex is such a big thing why are people so insecure about talking about it or expressing it? It has to do with social norms and a lot to do how we are brought up from a young age.

At the end the message is the same, we are all the same just different in are own unique way. “We know by now that there’s no such thing as normal—or rather, that we’re all normal. We’re all made of the same parts as everyone else, organized in a unique way. No two alike.”  So I agree to come as you are because in your own each way each one of you are special; if that touched you then smile to someone because you never know what a smile could do.

reference

(Emily Nagoski, Come As You Are, Scribe Publications, 2015)

Female Libido Repressed?

There has always been this argument whether a man has more desire and drive for intercourse than women. I am starting to think the only reason why they say man have more sexual desire is because women are put down from showing sexual desire or to have intercourse. Women have as much sexual drive as any man or even more, ever wondered why women could have multiple orgasms?

I notice many individuals try to hide their sexuality, many individuals care about what other people think of them. I was once read that when you stop caring what other people think you are able to finally live. ” Thought many strive to hide their human libidinousness from themselves and each other, being a force of nature, it breaks through. Lots of uptight, proper Americans were scandalized by the way Elvis moved his hips when he sang “rock and roll.” But how many realized what the phrase rock and roll meant? Cultural historian Michael Ventura, investigating the roots of African-American music, found the rock ‘n’ roll was a term that originated in the juke joints of the south. Long in use by the time Elvis appeared, Ventura explains the phrase “hadn’t meant the name of the music, it meant ‘to fuck.’ ‘Rock,’ by itself, has pretty much meant that, in those circles, since the twenties at least.” By the mid-1950’s, when the phrase was becoming widely used in mainstream culture, Ventura says the disc jockeys “either didn’t know what they were saying or were to shy to admit what they knew.” The thing’s we enjoy its the things we try to suppress.

“Before the war on drugs, the war on terror, or the war on cancer, there was the war on female sexual desire. It’s a war that has been raging far longer than any other, and it’s victims number well into the billions by now. Like the others, it’s a war that can never be won, as the declared enemy is a force of nature. We may as well declare war on the cycles of the moon.” It doesn’t make sense why we try repress a women libido; when if it was released everyone would enjoy one another more. ” Sex for pleasure with various partners is therefore more “human” than animal. Strictly reproductive, once-in-a-blue-moon sex is more “animal” than human. In other words, n excessively horny monkey is acting “human,” while a man or women uninterested in sex more than once or twice a year would be, strictly speaking, “acting like an animal.”

How has societies change with new information and different belief systems? ” Remember the Tenth Commandment: “Thou shalt not covert thy neighbors house, thou shalt not covert thy neighbors wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his as, nor any thing that [is] thy neighbor’s.” Clearly, the biggest loser (aside from slaves perhaps) in the agriculture revolution was the human female, who went from occupying a central respected role in foraging societies to becoming another possession for a man to earn and defend, along with his house, slaves, and livestock.”

As people are becoming more liberal and exploring new ideas; it makes me wonder how society will be in fifty years. Liberate and help as many people as possible to explore the unexplored and give them confidence.

Christopher,Ryan. (2010) Sex At Dawn. US. HarperCollins

 

 

Human Nature?

I have always been intriguing about why individuals stray or cheat and it makes me wonder if it’s biological? If something was so natural to us to be monogamous then why go long length to seek something else out? It makes me just ponder if it is out of fear based or a socially constructed idea of having marriage.

“And yet, despite repeated assurances that women aren’t particularly sexual creatures, in cultures around the world men have gone to extraordinary lengths to control female libido: female genital mutilation, head-to-toe chador, medieval witch burnings, chastity belts, suffocating corsets, muttered insults about “insatiable” whores, pathologizing, paternalistic medical diagnoses of nymphomania of hysteria, the debilitating scorn heaped on any female who chooses to be generous with her sexuality..all parts of a worldwide campaign to keep the supposedly low-key female libido under control. Why the electrified high-security razor wire fence to contain a kitty-cat?” It always makes me wonder why hide the fact that women are highly sexual beings?

How did we get to the ideas we have today about mating, dating, sexuality? “Marriage,” mating,” and “love” are socially constructed phenomena that have little or no transferable meaning outside any given culture. The examples we’ve noted of rampant ritualized group sex, mate-swapping unrestrained casual affairs, and socially sanctioned sequential sex were all reported in cultures that anthropologists insist are monogamous simply because they’ve determined that something they call “marriage” takes place there. No wonder so many insist that marriage, monogamy, and the nuclear family are human universals. With such all-encompassing interpretations of the concepts, even the prairie vole, who “sleeps with anyone” would qualify.” It’s interesting how we hide the other things that happen behind closed doors.

Is being with one individual really natural? Or is it having open relationships more common? ” No group-living nonhuman primate is monogamous, and adultery has been documented in every human culture studied including those in which fornicator are routinely stoned to death. In light of all this bloody retribution, it’s hard to see how monogamy comes “naturally” to our species. Why would so many risk their reputations, families, career- even presidential legacies for something that runs against human nature? Were monogamy an ancient, evolved train characteristics of our species, as the standard narrative insists, these ubiquitous transgressions would be infrequent and such horrible enforcement unnecessary. No creature needs to be threatened with death to act in accord with its own nature”.

It makes me wonder if is fear or is a socially constructed ideas that we have about dating and how we manage are interpersonal relationships.

references

Christopher,Ryan. (2010) Sex At Dawn. US. HarperCollins