Category Archives: Man

Expanded Orgasm – 2

I suggest to refer to the first post for instructions on how to follow the “Breath of Fire”. Be aware that as an individual always keep expanding in every aspect of one own life; you never stop learning and expanding.

The Breathe Of Fire

“The breath of fire is a Kundalini yoga technique. It is a powerfully energizing breath that gets the little neurons in your brain humming as it clears your lungs and cleanses your blood. The breath of fire is aptly named. I usually feel a lot of heat spreading out from the center of my body when I do this breath. This rapid, continuous breath is done entirely through the nose. It can be done in any position, but it’s best learned standing or sitting up with a straight spine. The emphasis of this breath is on the exhale.” I personally enjoy this breath more than the others; while jogging this could really wake you up.

  1. “Exhale. As you exhale, push the air out by rapidly pulling your navel to your spine.”
  2. “To inhale, simply release your navel outward. The breath fills your lungs automatically.”
  3. Put your hand on your diaphragm to focus your attention there and to feel the power of this breathe.”
  4. “Begin with one breath every two seconds; work up to one or two breaths per second.”

Requires a little practice, but I could honestly say it is worth it. The only conflicting part is to consciously do it while having intercourse.

The Heart Breath

  1. “Yawn. Feel how the yawn opens the back of your throat and stretches out your whole mouth and face? That’s the feeling of the openness you want when you do the heart breath.”
  2. “Breath. Let your mouth fall open slightly. Relax your jaw and face, open the back of your throat, and breath in through your mouth, gently but fully.”
  3. “Exhale. Don’t push the breath out; just let it fall out with a gentle little sigh,ahh.”
  4. “Take in a much air as you can, as effortlessly as you can, then let it go.”

Practice the breath till you get remember them and incorporate them into intercourse or masturbation and feel the difference. Remember it does not have to be perfect; just jump in and do it.

reference

Carrellas, Barbara. Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-first Century. Celestial Arts, 2007

Expanded Orgasm

As a man and a women you could expand your orgasms much more than you are experiencing right now. As I am aware the strongest orgasms have been when I alter my breathing; teaching this to a partner could be more complex but with patience and guidance it could be very powerful. This is taught in Tantra as well in Kama Sutra it just requires conscious focus on breathing thru the nose or the mouth and depending when you use it the effects will vary. There is four type of breaths which I will separate into two posts so in essence two here and two in the next one.

“Breathe through your mouth while you are learning each breath (except for the breath of fire, which is always done through the nose). When you become familiar with the breathes, you can experiment with nose versus mouth breathing.”

The Bottom Breathing

Practice for five to ten minutes

“Bottom breathing is a gentle, easy way to calm you down and open up your senses. It’s the ideal breath to use when you want to move out of the busy or stressful state of doing into the easy, relaxed awareness of being.”

  1. “Sit on the floor with your legs crossed (or on a hardback chair with your feet flat on the floor) and your spine straight. With your hands, pull the fleshy part of your buttocks aside so that you are sitting on your sit bones. (once you learn the breath you can do it in any position.)
  2. “Begin by exhaling all the air out of your lungs.”
  3. “Then, as you inhale, very gently push out on the anal sphincter. Imagine that your anus can “Kiss” the floor or the seat of the chair.”
  4. “On the exhale, don’t do anything. Don’t contract your anus, don’t hold it; don’t push. Do nothing just let it go.

Keep repeating and you will start to feel your body start tingling. This isn’t easy and requires practice as with anything else. One way to implement this while having intercourse or receiving oral is to start breathing into your mouth relaxed; then let go. Reaching orgasm will require more time but the explosive feeling is worth the wait. Be aware that orgasm is a state of mind and feeling while ejaculation is the release of a fluid.

The Circular Breathe

“The essence of the circular breath is breathing in a continuous flow, with no break or pause between the inhale and the exhale. The inhale flows effortlessly into the exhale, which flows seamlessly into the next inhale. You can do this breath sitting, standing, or lying down.” You could imagine this breathe as when you are jogging and breathing into and out of your mouth. As well when intercourse is rough and animatistic is thru the mouth that vocal and breathing is done.

  1. “Breathe gently through your mouth, keeping your jaw relaxed and your lips slightly parted.”
  2. “Feel the back of your throat open and relax. Do not force or push the breath. The inhale will require a bit more effort than the exhale, which should just gently fall out.”
  3. “Imagine your breath making a complete unbroken circle.”

” This breathe is particularly useful for circulating erotic energy around your own body and between yourself and your partners. It builds and moves energy, and it intensifies feelings both emotional and physical”.

For men who desire to not ejaculate which is releasing semen you could consciously breathe thru your nose slowly. Inhale then relax and exhale; this will slow everything down and its practiced while meditating. Which will lower your arousal level, but you will be able to have self-control while being able to sensuously enjoy the person you are with for longer periods of time.

reference

Carrellas, Barbara. Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-first Century. Celestial Arts, 2007

Vulnerable

It came to my attention that a friend had her images displayed because she left her boyfriend; which within itself is cowardly from his side. I will be writing about this within a story that happen about a year or so ago I remember being in an upscale condo in Sacramento with Allisa. If you read “The Power of Desire” I mentioned who she is. I am grateful for meeting her and the connections which I undoubtedly owe her more than words could suffice.

I remember looking out onto the bay as she laid asleep as I contemplated many things and Allisa came up repeatedly, how vulnerable she became with me even thought she is thirty years older than me. During my night stay I became aware she has multiple companies and is very confident within herself. I notice the humbleness which she displayed without reserve. Being brought up in San Fransisco her family didn’t have much which made her strive to be very successful. She accomplished the “American dream”, but wasn’t satisfied with having money. Now she owns multiple privately owned charities which she gives back in many ways. I was captivated by how caring she could be, but I knew she didn’t tolerate dishonesty by the way she spoke about honesty. As her walls came down little by little because I figured we would only see one another that night so I thought; she told me about family, relationships, insecurities, business, friends, love, things she detested, views on feminist ideals and things that shocked me. I didn’t expect for a women who I perceived as very confident show this many insecurities inside.

As I questioned and discussed many things throughout the night I learn to appreciate the little moments in which you share with someone even if it’s limited at times. When someone gives themselves to you so to speak it is something that is special. When seeing someone flaws and positive traits getting a more concrete image of a person and seeing the more authentic side underneath I believe is something not everyone shares with just anyone. Physically being with someone and them having trust that they will be safe with you I believe is a compliment and it’s something that is admirable. The moments you share blissfully with a person when time seizes to exist because all you perceive is one another; that is worthwhile and cherished in my perspective.

I could honestly say I detest when someone exposes another person because they are hurt. I understand the feeling, but that doesn’t justify the emotional weight you put on the other person for reviling things that some individuals consider very private. It’s really unfair that if a person gave themselves to you for that period of time and you use it against them. If the individual trusted you that much to send or let you take images of them; that within itself should be sacred and respected.

references

The Power Of Desire 

Sex, Sex, Sex

Sex Sex Sex
Yes this is a Sex and Relationship blog, I had a dream and I felt inspired to share this. 
Sometimes we forget the simple things in life are the most rewarding. At times we forget are partner touch or if your not with that person we forget those valuable moments of intimacy. The moments of exctasy as two bodies unite as one. As emotions transferred from one another and fluids are exchanged and being vulnerable with one another. Sex is this and much more.
Feeling the aroma of your partner, looking into another person eyes seeing the reflection of yourself within them knowing you are one. There smile making your day brighter as it reminds you how a smile could make a difference. Feeling there hair, hearing there voice, missing them. Remembering lost memories that once where, focusing on the good days when the sun was shinning. Seeing there eyes shine as they express there happiness with you; showing you new things, food, aromas, passions, places, sexuality, spirituality. 
Letting desire fill your veins as you touch your partner and caress there body, penetrating gently as you gain speed and momentum hearing groans and moans as it fills your mind and this primal feeling becomes awaken. Letting them feel your intensity as you look at them observing the perfection within this moment you are sharing. Enjoying one another as such a deep intimate level, feeling the depth of your soul yearning to be fulfilled becoming one with another as every movement is made. 
Grabbing them and holding them in place against the wall, biting there neck as the pain is felt but the pleasure taking its place. Blindfolding them, tying there hands, feet, letting them trust you. Caressing there body, taking your time, there no rush when enjoying someone. Being rough, spanking, hair pulling, deep penetration, letting the primal instincts take over and letting your neighbors know

your animal. Loving is shown in many different ways, Tender? Rough? Spiritual? 

Let yourself go fully, so when you partner remembers. Let them know the good memories, even supreme intelligence was taking notes from what you did to them. 
Have fun and enjoy yourself. No regrets. 

Dating Mentor 3

This is the last part and we talked about dating from his experience and mine, it is just a continuation from part two. As we descended from the hike body aching and adrenaline running thru are veins he started to speak about attraction. You understand attraction isn’t a choice we make consciously correct? Yes it’s a decision that your subconscious has made before you even spoke to the person. It is their behavior that dictates who they are. He said yes it really does; it’s like people focus so much on what to say when the other person has already made a choice without even knowing. I know right! That why is good to exercise and eat healthy because you are releasing pheromones all the time.

Remember when we where discussing mirror neurons and how are emotions affect people around us? Yes I do, what about it? It is interesting how are emotions come into play when choosing a mate as well. The emotions essentially bypass the pre-frontal cortex and go directly into are reptilian part of the brain. You could essentially consciously try to control those emotions but it is really hard. It is like are subconscious knows who has good genes and who to mate with. If you leave all the spiritual and religion things out we are here to reproduce and expand are genes. Isn’t that why they say between 20-26 women are prime for having children? It is and it becomes more difficult as time passes. The emotions are there to intertwine us as we mate and usually the stronger they are the more compatible you are. I was aware of this before hand, but it just made more sense. Isn’t that why we are repulsed by some individuals and we just aren’t attracted to them. haha yes that why attraction isn’t a logical choice; you could force yourself and maybe learn to be attracted to them but that defeats the fun and excitement.

I am aware that he only dates women who are in their twenties so I asked him how is it dating women twenty years younger than you? It is really fun and enjoy the high energy they bring. You don’t date older women? Yes I do but I just prefer younger women and I travel a lot so it wouldn’t make sense. I was curious why is it that some people have more partners than others? From my research and teaching I have notice it all comes down to behavior. Being confident and just saying this is what I want and going for it is what makes the difference. It has to be natural and not come off as forced; like you have to be confident and this is gained with time. In dating you have to be you and not become something you ain’t. It’s nice to want to make your partner happy but they are attracted to who you are not what you ain’t. As I listened I have notice this too, the best wisdom like I always tell you is be yourself but always keep improving no matter what. I laughed and essentially do the opposite of what people do.

I notice opposite do attract also, why is that? There has to be balance between the sexes or in any type of relationship. In intimate relationships I have seen how we attract the opposite of who we are. You tend to attract feminine women don’t you? Yes I notice now I a attracting more feminine women. You are leaning more into what you feel is okay with you, it is basically just energy. Masculine or feminine energy doesn’t have gender or body shape because both genders have both energies. So in that sense it’s okay to have problems because opposites will clash, when you are both neutral there might be sexual attraction but it won’t be all thrilling or as exciting as it could be. I have wondered about that because I notice I do tend to gravitate to more feminine women in attraction. It’s basically are bodies telling us who to mate with.

Why do you think people stay comfortable or in familiarity? It’s just fear and everyone has this is just a matter of how we handle it. Then again it could be peer pressure, family, and multiple layers of reasons.  I always tell you in relationships take risks and follow what you think you should do, you should listen more often thought. I know, then again if no one is there to push people out of their zone how would they do it? I believe maybe they will do it on their own? Yes that is possible, but would they do it. Any type of relationship it comes down to who you are and what are you willing to do. Like I told you it doesn’t matter what you want or don’t it just doing something about whatever you want to do. I smiled and said it’s true why not take risk and take the jump.

As we walked almost finishing our conversation I asked him what have you learned about attraction and women being here almost half a century. I am really getting that old, you sure don’t look like it. Stroking the ego hard aren’t you ( Both Laughed ). I have learned to admire women at a young age and have learned a lot. Being with as many partners as I’ve been with it makes me really be compassionate and humble of what women have to go thru. I believe they are beautiful and beyond the superficial body image there is always something deeper and unique in every women. I always appreciate speaking to women and learning something new and seducing them everyday for as long as they stay. There is pain off course, but that pain is nothing compare to what I have enjoyed with them. As he spoke I was like no wonder I speak the way I speak. Have to admire this guy; he has lived.

 

Sexual Fluidity

I believe that we have all had a friend that at some point was Heterosexual, Homosexual, or Bisexual and went in a whole different direction after some time. It made me wonder how someone sexuality could change so dramatically, is it biological or just the environment. So far there isn’t a whole single answer, but I am starting to think there isn’t just one answer. As humans we are complex beings and one single answer might not encompass are sexuality even thought we like to think there is just one answer.

Is sexuality just due to in environment and opportunity or biological? Well According to Lisa M. Diamond ” Similarly, in the late 1970s the sociologist Philp Blumestein and Pepper Schwartz conducted a groundbreaking study of more than 150 men and women with bisexual patterns of sexual behavior. They found that thought some of their respondents had experienced same-sex desires for many years, others appeared to have undergone major changes in their sexual attractions. They concluded that early childhood influences on sexuality ( whatever they may be) were not immutable, and that most individuals were unaware of their own capacity for change in sexuality over time.” I found this intriguing specially due to the fact that the sexual revolution only started ten years prior. Also something that stood out to me is how can someone change their sexual orientation or not be aware that it could change with time. Could it be that the curiosity was already there? Or is it just a hormonal change with time that activates?

Within the book Sexual Fluidity by Lisa M. Diamond describes what Fludity means. According to Lisa M. Diamond Fludity is defined ” Sexual fluidity, quite means situation-dependant flexibility in women’s sexual responsiveness. This flexibility makes it possible for some women to experience desires for either men or women under certain circumstances, regardless of their overall sexual orientation.” Essentially women Sexuality could change at times depending on the environment or what is happening in their life. I also think that even thought this book is on women sexuality, it could happen to males as well. Even thought it seems like males tend to stick to certain orientations throughout their life’s. This does this mean all women could be bisexual? Lisa M. Diamond says ” No. Fludity can be thought of as an additional component of a women’s sexuality that operates in concert with sexual orientation to influence how her attractions, fantasies, behaviors, and affections are experienced and expressed over the life course. Fluidity implies not what women’s desires are endlessly variable but that some women are capable of a wider variety of erotic feelings and experiences than would be predicted on the basis of their self described sexual orientation alone.”

Lisa M. Diamond does go into brain structures and hormonal changes. I was aware that alteration to the brain could make an individual act differently than before, ” Returning to the neuroendocrine theory, extensive animal research has shown that androgens and estrogens secreted by the developing fetal genitals play a fundamental role in sexual differentiation in mammalian brains. Furthermore, alterations in fetal hormone exposure have been associated with alterations in animals adults sexual behaviors. Specifically, male-typed sexual behavior in female animals has been associated with abnormally high levels of prenatal androgen exposure, whereas female-typed sexual behavior in male animals has been associated with abnormally low levels of androgen exposure.” Essentially hormonal changes just the slightest could affect animals sexual behaviors. This made me contemplate with all of are processed food how does it affect us, not to mention he substances we put within ourself. ” This findings has led researches to speculate that similar processes might operate for humans, such that same-sex sexual orientation might reflect alterations in brain “masculinization” or “feminization” owing to altered prenatal hormones environments.” The neuroendocrine theory is arguing that are sexuality is already predestined, due to hormones. The problem with this is that as humans we are more complex than animals; even thought we are still animals.

The book Sexual fluidity is very intriguing and I did skip much information. The author doesn’t agree with ether environment or are genes define are sexuality. Rather that it takes many factors and much-needed research is still needed. I Think that it could be both also; even thought genetics has a big say in are makeup; we could still change and as humans we do. I do understand that women and males at times aren’t certain why they are attracted to individuals that probably before they wouldn’t have found them attractive. It could be confusing for them, just know that you decide what you do with your life and don’t let others tell you what is right or wrong.

references

Diamond M. Lisa,(2009) Sexual Fluidity, USA, Harvard University Press

Till I Collapse

The song Till I Collapse by Eminem I really enjoy hearing, this will be a very personal post so no references. For the last three years I have been striving to be successful and have done MLM, Email Marketing, Trading, Life Insurance, and e-commerce. Honestly I have grown a lot but also have suffered because not everything was for me and I was doing it without passion. I have also made people closely to me stress and suffer for my irresponsibility for doing things my way, but it does have a good ending.

At the age of seven or eight I started playing street football with high school students. I learn getting tackled into a metal pole hurts and that quitting wasn’t an option. Growing up and playing sports I learn that quitting isn’t an option. I never had a father figure, but I did have my older sister and my younger sister. My older sister has a strong personality and taught me discipline and hard love with tender love in her own way. Honestly speaking if it wasn’t for my older sister I ain’t sure who I would be today. I owe a lot to my sister thru everything I put her thru she deserves the best and I am making sure that she and her family will be taken care of. I believe with the guidance from my older sister she taught me not to quit and have determination in following thru with what I say even if I do things she doesn’t agree with.

Sincerely speaking reading many books and staying focus on my goals I have been irresponsible in certain aspects of my life. Having people around me telling me to just go back to work actually effected me  till it got to the point I out grew it. I understood what depression and heartache and feeling hopeless felt like when knowing things are not working out. This is the times that I got to see a new side of me; feeling like quitting was something new to me. Honestly speaking I felt like quitting multiple times but something within me never let me. You have to understand that after three years and not having anything to show took a mental toll and emotionally draining. Even after being depressed and not knowing what to do I would complain for like thirty minutes and then I would start strategizing in how to make solutions.

I started having seizures so I figured I could die in my sleep, I put more pressure to make certain I produce tangible results. Instead of scaring me it actually motivated me to move much more faster and stay up later working. In a sense I didn’t fear dying because there wasn’t any point. This worried people around me and my family especially my mom, I believe she has endured the most. I don’t understand a mother’s love, but she has supported me after everything. I can’t stand seeing my mother suffer so knowing that I am finally becoming successful will make her happy. I believe the greatest gift I could give my mom is for me to be more healthy and me being financially free.

This is a Sex and Relationship blog; so yes there is a special women who is heping me out. It has been an emotional rollercoaster and it has been tough in it’s own way. At the same time it has been emotionally rewarding and I have gotten a lot of happiness and motivation from the relationship. It has been challenging and I have had my boundries rather pushed and extended, but I believe in growing and expanding in a relationship. We are growing stronger and with many challenges we are still here and going forward. I will be the best I can be, but I do expect the same because I don’t believe neither of us deserve anything less.

At the end I am becoming successful and moving pretty rapidly. I have learned a lot and have read many books and have become a better person I believe. The song Till I Collapse essentially states that he won’t quit till his last breath and till he collapses essentially. I have the same mentality I will keep fighting and moving forward regardless the obstacle because no one is going to stop me from getting what I desire. If seizures can’t kill me, depression can’t paralyze me, I have nothing to fear and am telling you not to quit on your dreams. It took me three years to start becoming successful; you could do it faster. Never quit, Never quit. To me I will take care of my family and return the favors of everyone that has helped me because I wouldn’t be here without all the people who have helped me in one way or another.

Thank You, Everything Was Worth It.

 

 

 

The difference between Orgasm and Ejaculation

There is a huge difference between having an orgasm and ejaculating. When having an orgasm this is what is happening “There is a combination of things that come in effect when it comes to an orgasm in the brain. Neurotransmitters, and neuro-peptides for example, are heavily involved in the sexual response. To reach an orgasm, the central nervous system sends orders to the heart, so that it pumps faster, sending blood to oxygenate the increase of blood flow in muscles involved in sexual activity. Nitric oxide, serotonin, dopamine, epinephrine, and norepinephrine, are just a few of the neurotransmitters and neuro-peptides involved in sexual activity. Nitric oxide (NO) plays a critical role in both male and female sexuality.” Which is pretty remarkable that all of this is happening in the brain to have orgasm. To have an orgasm is a feeling you get all over your body which is chemicals going off all together. There still much research to do to see how exactly each chemcial fuse together to make an orgasm happen.

To take a detour “In penile erections, NO stimulates the release of guanylate cyclase, which, in turn, converts GTP to cGMP and produces relaxation of smooth muscles and increased blood flow into the penis. This information is used in the popular drug sildenafil (ViagraTM) that inhibits the metabolism of cGMP to prolong the effects of the erection” which I did not know this was the chemical that helps prolong maintain an erection. If you closer into the above paragraph cGMP is meant to increase blood flow which also needs air flow to help keep an erect penis. If you have a hard time keeping an erect penis then exercise, eat vegetable and fruit, stop drinking soda, drink water, stop stressing and you will be able to maintain an erection.

Now ejaculation is the actual release of fluids.

Sexual stimulation and friction provide the impulses that are delivered to the spinal cord and into the brain. Ejaculation is a reflex action controlled by the central nervous system. It is triggered when the sexual act reaches a critical level of excitement. It has two phases.

  • In the first phase, the vas deferent (the tubes that store and transport sperm from the testes) contract to squeeze the sperm toward the base of the penis and the —-prostate gland and seminal vesicles release secretions to make semen. At this stage, the ejaculation is unstoppable.
  • In the second phase, muscles at the base of penis contract every 0.8 seconds and force the semen out of the penis in up to 5 spurts.

The difference is orgasm is a mental thing and ejaculation is an actual release of fluids. In other words you could have multiple orgasms without actually realsing and type of fluid. This goes for both male and femals and usually is more referred to women but as a male you could have multiple orgasms with practice and breathing techniques.

 

Refrences

© Copyright 1995-2016 The Cleveland Clinic Foundation. All rights reserved.

1) Scientific American: News In Brief: Study Lays Bare the Physiology of Erection: March 19, 2002
2) Chan, John, Dellovade, Tammy L., Forrest, Douglas, Pfaff, Donald, W, The Two Thyroid Hormone receptor genes have opposite effects on estrogen-stimulated sex behaviors, Nature Neuroscience Vol 3 number 5 pp 472-475 2000.
3) Bartlik, Barbara, Gelenberg, Alan J., Legere, Regina, Villaluz, Jose, Sexual Dysfunction Secondary to Depressive Disorders The Journal of Gender-Specific Medicine, 2[2]:52-60 1999
4) Michele A. Kelly, Marcelo Rubinstein, Sylvia L. Asa, Ge Zhang , Carmen Saez , James R. Bunzow , Richard G. Allen, Robert Hnasko , Nira Ben-Jonathan , David K. Grandy , and Malcolm J. Low Pituitary Lactotroph Hyperplasia and Chronic Hyperprolactinemia in Dopamine D2 Receptor-Deficient Mice Neuron, Vol. 19, 103–113, July, 1997