Tag Archives: Man

Expanded Orgasm – 2

I suggest to refer to the first post for instructions on how to follow the “Breath of Fire”. Be aware that as an individual always keep expanding in every aspect of one own life; you never stop learning and expanding.

The Breathe Of Fire

“The breath of fire is a Kundalini yoga technique. It is a powerfully energizing breath that gets the little neurons in your brain humming as it clears your lungs and cleanses your blood. The breath of fire is aptly named. I usually feel a lot of heat spreading out from the center of my body when I do this breath. This rapid, continuous breath is done entirely through the nose. It can be done in any position, but it’s best learned standing or sitting up with a straight spine. The emphasis of this breath is on the exhale.” I personally enjoy this breath more than the others; while jogging this could really wake you up.

  1. “Exhale. As you exhale, push the air out by rapidly pulling your navel to your spine.”
  2. “To inhale, simply release your navel outward. The breath fills your lungs automatically.”
  3. Put your hand on your diaphragm to focus your attention there and to feel the power of this breathe.”
  4. “Begin with one breath every two seconds; work up to one or two breaths per second.”

Requires a little practice, but I could honestly say it is worth it. The only conflicting part is to consciously do it while having intercourse.

The Heart Breath

  1. “Yawn. Feel how the yawn opens the back of your throat and stretches out your whole mouth and face? That’s the feeling of the openness you want when you do the heart breath.”
  2. “Breath. Let your mouth fall open slightly. Relax your jaw and face, open the back of your throat, and breath in through your mouth, gently but fully.”
  3. “Exhale. Don’t push the breath out; just let it fall out with a gentle little sigh,ahh.”
  4. “Take in a much air as you can, as effortlessly as you can, then let it go.”

Practice the breath till you get remember them and incorporate them into intercourse or masturbation and feel the difference. Remember it does not have to be perfect; just jump in and do it.


Carrellas, Barbara. Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-first Century. Celestial Arts, 2007


Desire Pill

Have you ever felt desire dwindling or felt you lack sexual drive? I was looking into how to make desire last in a long-term relationship. If the waning of lust or yearning could be brought back. I remember the pharmaceutical companies are creating pills in which would spike women desire back up, essentially the same as what Viagra does to men.

Apparently America is a big market for such pills ” medications, molecules aimed by pharmaceutical giants at the same despair, the feeling of desire’s vanishing, aimed at the same market, worth over four billion dollars a year in America alone”. As well it made me wonder why hasn’t a pill been made yet. It’s also interesting how birth control pills effect some women than others differently ” women whose antidepressants suffocate their desire. He would have a way to understand one of the conundrums of his field: why birth control pills snuffed out sexuality in some– but far from all–women”. It seems like women desire is rather more complex than males.

I wondered if a women desire seems to wain from more of a psychological perspective and why has no pill been approved by the FDA. The mind tends to control the body and sometimes vice versa, as well political has to do with the pills not being approved. ” Another reason was bound up with a David-and-Goliath battle that some therapist saw themselves fighting heroically against the drug industry–against its rush to find, win FDA approval for, and market what is loosely known as a female Viagra. Since the late nineties, when pharmaceutical companies has begun making billions by assisting erections with a chemical that affected the capillaries of the penis, the corporations had been seeking an equivalent for women. But this hadn’t been going smoothly, because women’s sexual problems usually aren’t genital; they’re entrenched in psycholigcal.” If this is true wouldn’t it be as easy as thinking differently? Or is it much deeper than just the thought process and something more biological?

The more political side of it would be society would change dramatically. The resonated with what Goldstein recounted from his involvement with Flibanserin. In Flibanserin’s trials, he hadn’t taken his usual outsider’s role, interviewing women, dispensing medication. He’d been hired as an advisor by the corporation that owned the molecule; he’d been in on strategy sessions. “When you’re going to the FDA with this kind of drug, there’s the sense that you want your effects to be good but not to good.” he said. Too good hadn’t turned out to be Flibanserin’s problem, but, he explained. “There was a lot of discussion about it by the experts in the room, the need to show that you’re not turning women into nymphomaniacs. There’s a bias, a bias against– a fear of creating the sexuality aggressive women. here’s this idea of societal breakdown.” This off course would be very negative to how society been structured for the last millenium or so. As far as we know off course.

As far I am aware the companies have not been able to find a drug that brings desire or lust back within a relationship. There are a few theories of why, I think there is other remedies but it is things I would have to test out first.


( Daniel,Bergner. What Do Women Want? United States : HarperCollins Publishers Inc. June 2013)

Understanding Sexuality

This is a personal post so no references on this one, lately I believe that my sexuality was rather pushed. I have noticed every time I have a new partner I have to in a sense adapt and understand an individual that is different from my other partners. This means understanding them at a mentally, emotionally, and physically and this takes time and a lot of listening. I will try to break down sexuality in four paragraphs from personal experience and knowledge.

Mentally I understand everyone is different and have their own perspective on how they see their own world. This also means that everyone will see sexuality different and have different ideas on how they get arouse and have orgasms. This is where having open communication is really essential; you have to understand that one position might work for someone but for another person it won’t. When being monogamous you learn on how to help your partner reach bliss; on the other hand when having multiple partners you start to understand that variety in knowledge is necessary. In monogamy it is also essential in having variety, but the main point is that sexuality is so diverse that is so fundamental to having an open mind and willing to grow in any type of relationship.

Emotionally and past trauma could have an effect and guide a person life and sexuality. The subconscious mind doesn’t forget anything; especially emotionally charged memories. If a person had a bad experience sexually or in any other way it will be memorized in the amygdala and hippocampus. When a person is in the same situation a person will feel the same negative feelings associated with the previous expeirence. I have seen and been with women who for one reason or another have had a bad experience and can’t get passed the negative feelings and they cant enjoy their sexuality to the fullest. At moments such as this listening and understanding could help a person move forward with trust and love.

In general people physique are vastly different but at the same time the same. Before having intercourse seeing a person size and weight and understanding a person pain tolerance should be considered. Some individuals love deeper penetration while other individuals prefer vanilla intercourse much more. There are off course individuals that enjoy being disciplined to the point of having bruises or not being able to continue. This off course should come as consensual and open communication is recommended. depending on the individual certain physical parts will be more arousing than others; and this tends to vary from person to person.

Sexuality is so diverse and complex that there really isn’t a one way fits all, I believe this is where sex ed doesn’t really do a good job at. Everyone is different and just because one thing worked on someone; doesn’t mean it will work on another individual. I believe sexuality is diverse and openly talking about it with a partner is crucial to both partners growth. This also helps with having more pleasure and having a deeper respect and understanding of one another. If you tend to enjoy multiple partners I recommend having an open mind, good listening skills, and understanding that everyone sexuality is vastly different.

Dualities of Relationships

I haven’t done much research into this topic, but it is something that am curious. Have you ever been around someone and you feel like this energy from them? With some individuals you automatically gravitate with them because of confidence and power, and other individuals they have this calm vibe about them. I once had a mentor talk to me about masculinity and femininity regarding the different poles and how it’s necessary to lean on one side to attract the other.

The way my mentor told me was in an analogy ” masculinity it’s like a train even if it rains or there obstacles etc you have to keep moving without stopping, there needs to be a direction and move steadfast towards it. Feminine energy is more like the passengers in the train enjoying themselves knowing that they will be taken care of. ” To me it kind of made sense, but I did not fully comprehend that in the moment till about a week ago.

During a visit to a city I met a women who was acting rather masculine; the way she spoke and acted reminded me of a male. It felt like during the whole conversation there was no attraction but more of conflict. She referred herself to as a ” Dike” I was rather intrigued and asked further questions. Then I notice that when I sit with a feminine women I could see am rather attracted or the women appeals to me. The energy of a person just feels different or you could just refer to their personalities.

One thing is for certain there is a dominant and a submissive person in relationships. I notice and read upon that for a relationship to work there has to be a dominant individual and a submissive individual. This does not mean being passive all the time; but usually or not one individual takes lead while the other follow. One way to tell who is dominant in a relationship is to look who has their hand on top. The person who is submissive has it in the bottom, don’t think this true? Change positions of your hands and see if it “Feels” right.

Sex Routine

I once heard that people get bored with intercourse because it becomes routine and I thought could something this amazing and interesting become dull? Off course we have to understand that everyone has different schedules, different lifestyles and have different priorities. Once we reach adult hood most of us stop learning, if we pick up a book is cause we are force too. This means most individuals sex life stagnates the same way everything else does. Today we will be talking about a few positions that could bring a new form of experience, don’t worry their basic and doesn’t require much flexibility or killing yourself.

Many position’s you already do could be modified essentially add a little different twist and could stimulate other regions in the vaginal. One of them is missionary position which essentially the man is lying on top of the women, this is the position in which maybe everyone who has had intercourse has experienced. This position could stimulate the clitoris if you do a rocking motion. One way to modify this position is by putting a solid pillow which does not fold in under pressure much. Place the pillow under her lower back and above her butt to raise the pelvis. This would allow a more diagonal entry which allows to stimulate other regions within the vaginal.


Another form off modifying missionary position is for the man to be on his knees and the women to have her legs held by the partner in the air. You could also have one leg down and one up and switch them when you desire to or just have both of her legs two the side of the man knees to relax. Depending on this different positions the depth of penetration and motion could be very stimulating. As a man when you are on your knees do a motion of upwards to stimulate the g-spot. Be careful if your above average in penis size cause it could hurt the women in the depth you are going in her.


In the above positions you could still put a pillow under and see what is more satisfying and stimulating. Remember if the women is engorged because the vaginal is made of the same tissue like the penis so it gets puffy the women will feel more due to the fact that the interior walls are puffy and the surrounding area of penis will add friction to the walls.

One more advice in intercourse the way to last longer is to not get overtly excited, it’s rather calming down. The PNS  also know as Parasympathetic system “The part of the involuntary nervous system that serves to slow the heart rate, increase intestinal and glandular activity, and relax the sphincter muscles” Essentially this is the system that relax’s you, during intercourse breathe in thru your nose slowly this will help you stay calm instead of speeding up. You add this with kegel exercises and you could last as long as you want to with practice.

One other advice is when males are having intercourse they don’t go all the way out and in. Basically it’s like you’re using half the penis instead of the full size. Also going all the way out in and in could stimulate the nerve endings in the opening of the vaginal; this is very arousing and could be in a sense teasing. Yes to some degree this requires discipline and meditation helps, but if you desire more experiences sexually you have to try out new things.

Parasympathetic Nervous system

Sympathetic Nervous System


Last night before falling asleep I was wondering about dating and intercourse and how one or the other lead to intimacy. Then I was wondering why we are attracted to a person and I came up with a few ideas. Interestingly today in the morning I was hearing a mentor talking about a community where guys receive advice on dating. I have no problem with the dating industry just that you have to be careful to who you hear; but this community reminded me of man having a negative view on women or just upset for a bad experience. Also not saying all women are nice and gentle and caring is the same for man.

I will show you a few sections of the advice man are receiving on attracting women on this specific forum. ” I usually don’t ask questions like, “When are you free?” or, “What’s your schedule?” Unless we’ve already met and fucked. It gives her a chance to think (women are bad at this) and make a choice (women are worse at this).” “Even before you go out on the date you should be looking in the mirror reminding yourself how lucky this bitch is to go out with you. You are the prize.”Take that bitch to laser tag. Take her to a walk in the woods and fuck her on a park bench. Take that bitch out to drinks then get dinner after you’ve already felt her up (Then feel her up more at dinner), Cook dinner at your place (My personal favorite), do anything you can to break away from the traditional dinner for two stereotypical date. Throw some danger and adventure at that ho.”

When I was reading this I was like some individuals have bad emotions associated with women. I understand to a certain degree because we have had a bad encounter with the opposite sex or same-sex. At times I have wondered what women desire or if I did something wrong. I believe as humans we wonder this things and their not always something you could do. The only problem with this is that man who follow this are going to have future bad relationships or are going to hurt someone and then someone else will get hurt.

I was once told that you attract people to who you are as a person. Essentially the world around you is a reflection of who you are. I could honestly say I was here once and I had an interesting life; then again I wasn’t always fulfilled emotionally. It kind of sucks seeing that other people are being badly informed and will follow that advice and hurt other people. Relationships could be a little complicated and confusing to navigate and seduction could be fun, am pretty sure women and man out their sometimes wonder if their doing the right thing or not sure what to do next.

My Erotic Story

Once I am established as a sex Therapist I will expand my self to write erotica, thank to a good friend who edits my stuff this little story came to live. I appreciate the help she gives me and I hope you guys enjoy. Any improvements or comments are more than welcome so I could be a better writer.


I am proud of how healthy I am being a 37-year-old West Los Angeles Health professor. I am quite bored often doing the same mundane things everyday and each year. On February 11, 2012 was the start of a new school and meant new faces. A girl that appeared to be 19 had walked in through the room. She had straight black hair, wore square framed glasses, and had a timid walk. As she walked timidly, her firm thighs caught my attention. Could she have been an athlete? Perhaps she was a volleyball or soccer player? Her body was like wine with that round shaped ass and with a cleavage that spoke of many seasons of growth. For the first time in years I felt an intense desire that I do not even get towards my wife. A voice in my head warned me to keep the distance or else I would not resist.

As class begun, I told everyone to take their books out for Health 11. Before I began to lecture, I told everyone to say his or her name in front of the class. Her name was Jazmine and she said her name with such a low voice and I wondered if she lacked confidence? I was focused on this captivating girl too much. What has me so mesmerized, is it her timidness, youth, or physique? Jesus! It was only the first day and I could already imagine her bending over for me!
“Fuck!” I thought.
I had to behave. She stayed after class and asked for extra work. I asked myself, “Extra credit on the first day?!”
She was obviously an A student. I wondered how far would she go for that letter grade.
I thought, “God she is getting to me!”
I told her to relax and enjoy her first few days of school, it was too soon for extra credit. She gave me a half timid smile and walked away.

On Thursday, I was eager to see her walk through the door and she did not disappoint, she was wearing a short skirt with high socks and a strapless shirt. Do people call that matching now? Well I didn’t think too much of it because all I could think

about is her beauty.

My fantasies started carrying me away as a month passed. She would come in before class to talk to me and stay after class to complete her homework. She would spend extra time regularly that I even thought she must have liked me because she was flirting with me. Was I imagining this? God! I knew I had to be professional about the situation I cannot get involved with my student!

As the last two weeks of class were approaching on April 20, 2012 I had reacted. Today she came in with a short skirt again, but this time without high knee socks. She wore a revealing shirt that exposed her perfect cleavage. I was way over my head and lusted for her. This primal feeling of wanting to bend her over and shove my cock into her was driving me insane. I wondered how loud she could moan. She stayed again after class and I closed the door. She gave me a little timid smile and acted nervously when I looked at her. Jazmine was working on the health project I gave out two weeks ago. She fumbled her pencil and completely blushed. As soon as I tried to pick it up she ended in my arms. I could not resist myself any longer and ignore this gorgeous woman who was at her prime. Fuck! Her cleavage was just asking to be stroked and played with. I soon felt my hard on and by the looks of it Jazmine did too. She got up quickly and blushed even harder while looking at my boner. “I have to go,” she said.
I grabbed her hand and brought her closer to me while I told her not to. She did not hesitate and I could feel her massive chest while I kissed her and she passionately kissed me back with a low moan. We were currently on the top floor and it was around 8pm, no one would be able to hear us. This was my fantasy; this was all I wanted for the past two months. I wanted her and I could tell she wanted me as well. I kissed her and pushed her against the wall with force. She was ecstatic that I was not gentle with her. My wife couldn’t even make me feel this alive! Wow, she was biting her lips and moving her hips against my cock. I tore off her shirt, I didn’t care anymore I wanted her naked. Wow! They were the most beautiful breasts I have ever

seen; they were nice, round, and perky. They were far from being saggy and small. I rubbed and kissed them, I even bit the nipples and she responded with a loud moan. I immediately thought we were going to get caught, but I didn’t care I just wanted her. I grabbed her and I bent her over my desk. Who wouldn’t want to fuck their teacher? I pulled up her skirt and tore off her underwear. She was laying on the table looking at me with desire. Her eyes told me to fuck her like I never fucked anyone before. I didn’t hesitate to take off my clothes and she asked if I had a condom and I told her I didn’t, but I was not going to let this opportunity pass me by so I shoved my cock into her vagina and I swear I could have climaxed instantly! Her wetness was pouring down and her young pussy was tight; either she was a virgin or have not had sex in a while. Her moan echoed across the room and even down the hall. Fuck! How hot is this? I began to pound her softer to see if she could take in my full erect penis in her. She moaned and asked me to fuck her harder as I gladly did. My throbbing penis inside her vagina felt like heaven as she was breathing harder and harder. Lustfully, I picked her skirt up and spanked her right cheek hard and she jerked forward and let out a loud moan. I was going to be rough, I spanked her other cheek as she drove her nails in the table and gave out another moan. She cried out for more and I spanked her again. This girl was so kinky she desired a rough hand. I got out of her and went down on her on the table, her vagina was really pink and smelled aroused. The smell was beautiful, I licked her clitoris and she came almost instantly, it landed on my face and the taste turned me on so I turned her around, grabbed her, picked her up and put her against the window while I fucked her against it. I hope no one was outside looking at me fucking this young woman.


Why Women Get Attached Faster Than Man

One of the observations I have noticed is that women get attached faster than man and I hear women complaining often about this. I wondered why in general males tend to get attached much slower than women. One thing you will have to remember is that biology plays a big part in courting and mating.

There are two hormones we will have to pay attention to that have a great impact when having intercourse and afterwards. One of the chemicals is called Oxytocin “A hormone made in the brain that plays a role in childbirth and lactation by causing muscles to contract in the uterus (womb) and the mammary glands in the breast. Animal studies have shown that oxytocin also has a role in pair bonding, mate-guarding, and social memory.” When having intercourse and about to climax the brain “Oxytocin is a peptide (a compound consisting of 2 or more amino acids) that is secreted by the hypothalamus and transported to the posterior lobe of the pituitary gland at the base of the brain” Yes every brain in a human being is very advanced. Basically what they are saying is that oxytocin is release after intercourse which gives you the feeling of relax and comfort and this aura feeling.

The one other major hormone is testosterone which is largely known for sexual drive and making a man more aggressive. Every individual has testosterone but it varies upon males and females. There has been studies in mice in which males who have more testosterone get attached less and are less likely to be protective off their offspring. The reason is that testosterone counters oxytocin and estrogen. An example “Considering the parallel inhibitory effects of testosterone on both pup sensitization and number of OT neurons, we postulate that sex differences in parental responsiveness facilitated by repeated pup exposure were caused by an inhibitory effect of testosterone via the OT neural system in mice.” In other words the more testosterone a mice had the more likely they would not get attached.

Females have less testosterone in general so they get attached more easily for parenting reasons. If a male has little bit of testosterone and releases oxytocin he will more likely be monogamous and stay faithful. The less sexual drive he will have will show in his parenting manners and less in having intercourse with various partners.

definition of Oxytocin
Definition of Testosterone
Why Testosterone inhibits attachment
How Vasopressin and Oxytocin release in the brain after intercourse

Shame and Sexuality

One of the aspects I have notice regarding sexuality is that so many people are ashamed of there bodies or sexuality in general. I have grown to see this in women and in males particular with women, but why is that people are so ashamed of their sexuality, desires, or there bodies. I will not be referencing in this blog post; it was more of an idea that popped into my mind.

Culture tends to develop a person one way or another; different cultures around the world make people behave differently. This is one reason why a person traveling to another culture might not understand why a person behaves the way they behave. In some cultures and religion individuals are forced to marry before being sexually active with anyone and if you go against the rules you are dammed or deemed as a bad person. Many people look for love and caring from their family; and imagine being seen bad for enjoying your sexuality? Not to mention in some cultures a women clitoris is chopped of because the man are afraid of a women enjoying to much pleasure and she might cheat.

Sexual abuse is a sensitive topic because people are forced to give there bodies up for another person pleasure or for wealth. Many traumas are hardwired into are brain because the trauma is emotionalized so are brain will remember the event and might unconsciously be affecting are decisions. This entirely is unfair because sexual consent should be something that two or three or four individuals should agree on. When a person is forced to anything they desire not to do it could affect them in many psychological ways.

Social media portrays sexuality or an image that people should live up to. This could make people belief that if  a person does not live up to such image they feel they are worthless. I see this more with women when they are buying many products to look as beautiful as possible to please another individual. Or when women diet to such extremes to live up to an image which at times takes more dedication than most people could possibly give. This reflects when individuals are having intercourse and all of a sudden they become ashamed or respond negatively when touched or being naked a front of an individual.

A penis and a vagina is natural for humans to have, this is not something which we should be ashamed about. The human body is very attractive and appealing it is not something a person should be ashamed of showing if they so choose to. Sexual consent is something that should be practiced and not forced upon. Sexual education for anyone at any age is something that is certainly recommended to expand once knowledge, but also improve ones sexual life.

Sexual Appeal and How it differs from Person

Sexual appeal is different for each individual some are rather more active than other individuals. I will show you how imbalances in chemicals in brain could lead to a more decline in sexuality and how brain structure and habits will change  the brain structure and how you revive the sexual drive you once had. There will be a lot of research, but just read on and it will all make sense.

Sexual drive could be affected by according to (Webmed}”Any number of things, some physical and some psychological. Sometimes it’s both.Physical issues that can cause low libido include low testosterone, prescription medicines, too little or too much exercise, and alcohol and drug use. Psychological issues can include depression, stress, and problems in your relationship.About 4 out of 10 men over age 45 have low testosterone. While testosterone replacement therapy remains somewhat controversial, it’s also a common solution to the problem.” Not to mention the food you eat which plays a big part in your life in general. One of the things overlooked sometimes is brain damage cause by accidents, seizures, strokes, concussions, and minor injuries from sports which do occur.

Chemicals that I am aware of which are realesed when having intercourse are Dopamine, Norepinephrine,Oxytocin,Testosterone, and serotonin which are just a few and its pretty amazing how much work are brain does, its a pretty high tech computer. Each chemical does different things

  • Dopamine – Is a feel good chemical
  • Norepinephrine – Get’s the person excited
  • Testosterone – Makes an individual more aggressive and is a sexual hormone and man need testosterone more than women which helps with mood, thinking, sexual drive.
  • Serotonin – Calms the individual down
  • Oxytocin – Natural relaxer and lowers pain

I’ll provide a link for you could read a more clear understanding.

At one point in science it was thought of that ones you reach a certain age the brain stops learning and growing. Now we know that is not true which means anyone could recover from injuries.  According to (Stanford) “Because of this belief, scientists also thought that if a particular area of the adult brain was damaged, the nerve cells could not form new connections or regenerate, and the functions controlled by that area of the brain would be permanently lost. However, new research on animals and humans has overturned this mistaken old view: today we recognize that the brain continues to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. This phenomenon, called neuroplasticity, allows the neurons in the brain to compensate for injury and adjust their activity in response to new situations or changes in their environment.” Basically the brain continues to regenerate itself as you do new things.

Cognitive therapy is aimed at fixing certain thought process which a person has and is leading to unwanted behavior. Cognitive therapy definition is ” Cognitive therapy is a psychosocial therapy that assumes that faulty cognitive, or thought, patterns cause maladaptive behavior and emotional responses. The treatment focuses on changing thoughts in order to adjust psychological and personality problems.” Basically challenging the way you think about something could possibly result in a different behavior. One way or another you are telling yourself certain things through out the day. Why not change the way you think and do to get different results?

Sexual appeal differs from person to person because of many factors such as stated above. Some individuals believe they cannot change because there are the way they are; it is just a belief which your brain will change ones you do something different which comes from beliefs. Essentially what am saying is that you could be better at anything with a little effort and telling yourself new things. How do you think you got where you are at now; it literally just beliefs and thoughts. You could literally reconditioned yourself to be more sexual.

How you ask? For starters focus more on sexuality; this will lead you to think more about sex. Read more about intercourse and relationships and you will start to understand more. Have more intercourse this will recondition your brain and you will overall feel better from having intercourse. Change your diet and exercise a little more; meditate if you have a lot of stress. Change your habits and you change who you are as a person.

Cognitive Therapy – Purpose, Treatment techniques, Preparation, Typical results
Amagydla defintion
Five brain chemicals that are released during intercourse
Neuroplasticity Research
Reasons why you may have low libido;