Tag Archives: Relationships

Expanded Orgasm

As a man and a women you could expand your orgasms much more than you are experiencing right now. As I am aware the strongest orgasms have been when I alter my breathing; teaching this to a partner could be more complex but with patience and guidance it could be very powerful. This is taught in Tantra as well in Kama Sutra it just requires conscious focus on breathing thru the nose or the mouth and depending when you use it the effects will vary. There is four type of breaths which I will separate into two posts so in essence two here and two in the next one.

“Breathe through your mouth while you are learning each breath (except for the breath of fire, which is always done through the nose). When you become familiar with the breathes, you can experiment with nose versus mouth breathing.”

The Bottom Breathing

Practice for five to ten minutes

“Bottom breathing is a gentle, easy way to calm you down and open up your senses. It’s the ideal breath to use when you want to move out of the busy or stressful state of doing into the easy, relaxed awareness of being.”

  1. “Sit on the floor with your legs crossed (or on a hardback chair with your feet flat on the floor) and your spine straight. With your hands, pull the fleshy part of your buttocks aside so that you are sitting on your sit bones. (once you learn the breath you can do it in any position.)
  2. “Begin by exhaling all the air out of your lungs.”
  3. “Then, as you inhale, very gently push out on the anal sphincter. Imagine that your anus can “Kiss” the floor or the seat of the chair.”
  4. “On the exhale, don’t do anything. Don’t contract your anus, don’t hold it; don’t push. Do nothing just let it go.

Keep repeating and you will start to feel your body start tingling. This isn’t easy and requires practice as with anything else. One way to implement this while having intercourse or receiving oral is to start breathing into your mouth relaxed; then let go. Reaching orgasm will require more time but the explosive feeling is worth the wait. Be aware that orgasm is a state of mind and feeling while ejaculation is the release of a fluid.

The Circular Breathe

“The essence of the circular breath is breathing in a continuous flow, with no break or pause between the inhale and the exhale. The inhale flows effortlessly into the exhale, which flows seamlessly into the next inhale. You can do this breath sitting, standing, or lying down.” You could imagine this breathe as when you are jogging and breathing into and out of your mouth. As well when intercourse is rough and animatistic is thru the mouth that vocal and breathing is done.

  1. “Breathe gently through your mouth, keeping your jaw relaxed and your lips slightly parted.”
  2. “Feel the back of your throat open and relax. Do not force or push the breath. The inhale will require a bit more effort than the exhale, which should just gently fall out.”
  3. “Imagine your breath making a complete unbroken circle.”

” This breathe is particularly useful for circulating erotic energy around your own body and between yourself and your partners. It builds and moves energy, and it intensifies feelings both emotional and physical”.

For men who desire to not ejaculate which is releasing semen you could consciously breathe thru your nose slowly. Inhale then relax and exhale; this will slow everything down and its practiced while meditating. Which will lower your arousal level, but you will be able to have self-control while being able to sensuously enjoy the person you are with for longer periods of time.

reference

Carrellas, Barbara. Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-first Century. Celestial Arts, 2007

Advertisements

Vulnerable

It came to my attention that a friend had her images displayed because she left her boyfriend; which within itself is cowardly from his side. I will be writing about this within a story that happen about a year or so ago I remember being in an upscale condo in Sacramento with Allisa. If you read “The Power of Desire” I mentioned who she is. I am grateful for meeting her and the connections which I undoubtedly owe her more than words could suffice.

I remember looking out onto the bay as she laid asleep as I contemplated many things and Allisa came up repeatedly, how vulnerable she became with me even thought she is thirty years older than me. During my night stay I became aware she has multiple companies and is very confident within herself. I notice the humbleness which she displayed without reserve. Being brought up in San Fransisco her family didn’t have much which made her strive to be very successful. She accomplished the “American dream”, but wasn’t satisfied with having money. Now she owns multiple privately owned charities which she gives back in many ways. I was captivated by how caring she could be, but I knew she didn’t tolerate dishonesty by the way she spoke about honesty. As her walls came down little by little because I figured we would only see one another that night so I thought; she told me about family, relationships, insecurities, business, friends, love, things she detested, views on feminist ideals and things that shocked me. I didn’t expect for a women who I perceived as very confident show this many insecurities inside.

As I questioned and discussed many things throughout the night I learn to appreciate the little moments in which you share with someone even if it’s limited at times. When someone gives themselves to you so to speak it is something that is special. When seeing someone flaws and positive traits getting a more concrete image of a person and seeing the more authentic side underneath I believe is something not everyone shares with just anyone. Physically being with someone and them having trust that they will be safe with you I believe is a compliment and it’s something that is admirable. The moments you share blissfully with a person when time seizes to exist because all you perceive is one another; that is worthwhile and cherished in my perspective.

I could honestly say I detest when someone exposes another person because they are hurt. I understand the feeling, but that doesn’t justify the emotional weight you put on the other person for reviling things that some individuals consider very private. It’s really unfair that if a person gave themselves to you for that period of time and you use it against them. If the individual trusted you that much to send or let you take images of them; that within itself should be sacred and respected.

references

The Power Of Desire 

Female Libido Repressed?

There has always been this argument whether a man has more desire and drive for intercourse than women. I am starting to think the only reason why they say man have more sexual desire is because women are put down from showing sexual desire or to have intercourse. Women have as much sexual drive as any man or even more, ever wondered why women could have multiple orgasms?

I notice many individuals try to hide their sexuality, many individuals care about what other people think of them. I was once read that when you stop caring what other people think you are able to finally live. ” Thought many strive to hide their human libidinousness from themselves and each other, being a force of nature, it breaks through. Lots of uptight, proper Americans were scandalized by the way Elvis moved his hips when he sang “rock and roll.” But how many realized what the phrase rock and roll meant? Cultural historian Michael Ventura, investigating the roots of African-American music, found the rock ‘n’ roll was a term that originated in the juke joints of the south. Long in use by the time Elvis appeared, Ventura explains the phrase “hadn’t meant the name of the music, it meant ‘to fuck.’ ‘Rock,’ by itself, has pretty much meant that, in those circles, since the twenties at least.” By the mid-1950’s, when the phrase was becoming widely used in mainstream culture, Ventura says the disc jockeys “either didn’t know what they were saying or were to shy to admit what they knew.” The thing’s we enjoy its the things we try to suppress.

“Before the war on drugs, the war on terror, or the war on cancer, there was the war on female sexual desire. It’s a war that has been raging far longer than any other, and it’s victims number well into the billions by now. Like the others, it’s a war that can never be won, as the declared enemy is a force of nature. We may as well declare war on the cycles of the moon.” It doesn’t make sense why we try repress a women libido; when if it was released everyone would enjoy one another more. ” Sex for pleasure with various partners is therefore more “human” than animal. Strictly reproductive, once-in-a-blue-moon sex is more “animal” than human. In other words, n excessively horny monkey is acting “human,” while a man or women uninterested in sex more than once or twice a year would be, strictly speaking, “acting like an animal.”

How has societies change with new information and different belief systems? ” Remember the Tenth Commandment: “Thou shalt not covert thy neighbors house, thou shalt not covert thy neighbors wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his as, nor any thing that [is] thy neighbor’s.” Clearly, the biggest loser (aside from slaves perhaps) in the agriculture revolution was the human female, who went from occupying a central respected role in foraging societies to becoming another possession for a man to earn and defend, along with his house, slaves, and livestock.”

As people are becoming more liberal and exploring new ideas; it makes me wonder how society will be in fifty years. Liberate and help as many people as possible to explore the unexplored and give them confidence.

Christopher,Ryan. (2010) Sex At Dawn. US. HarperCollins

 

 

Human Nature?

I have always been intriguing about why individuals stray or cheat and it makes me wonder if it’s biological? If something was so natural to us to be monogamous then why go long length to seek something else out? It makes me just ponder if it is out of fear based or a socially constructed idea of having marriage.

“And yet, despite repeated assurances that women aren’t particularly sexual creatures, in cultures around the world men have gone to extraordinary lengths to control female libido: female genital mutilation, head-to-toe chador, medieval witch burnings, chastity belts, suffocating corsets, muttered insults about “insatiable” whores, pathologizing, paternalistic medical diagnoses of nymphomania of hysteria, the debilitating scorn heaped on any female who chooses to be generous with her sexuality..all parts of a worldwide campaign to keep the supposedly low-key female libido under control. Why the electrified high-security razor wire fence to contain a kitty-cat?” It always makes me wonder why hide the fact that women are highly sexual beings?

How did we get to the ideas we have today about mating, dating, sexuality? “Marriage,” mating,” and “love” are socially constructed phenomena that have little or no transferable meaning outside any given culture. The examples we’ve noted of rampant ritualized group sex, mate-swapping unrestrained casual affairs, and socially sanctioned sequential sex were all reported in cultures that anthropologists insist are monogamous simply because they’ve determined that something they call “marriage” takes place there. No wonder so many insist that marriage, monogamy, and the nuclear family are human universals. With such all-encompassing interpretations of the concepts, even the prairie vole, who “sleeps with anyone” would qualify.” It’s interesting how we hide the other things that happen behind closed doors.

Is being with one individual really natural? Or is it having open relationships more common? ” No group-living nonhuman primate is monogamous, and adultery has been documented in every human culture studied including those in which fornicator are routinely stoned to death. In light of all this bloody retribution, it’s hard to see how monogamy comes “naturally” to our species. Why would so many risk their reputations, families, career- even presidential legacies for something that runs against human nature? Were monogamy an ancient, evolved train characteristics of our species, as the standard narrative insists, these ubiquitous transgressions would be infrequent and such horrible enforcement unnecessary. No creature needs to be threatened with death to act in accord with its own nature”.

It makes me wonder if is fear or is a socially constructed ideas that we have about dating and how we manage are interpersonal relationships.

references

Christopher,Ryan. (2010) Sex At Dawn. US. HarperCollins